Birdmeat Day
It was recently Thanksgiving in the United States. It was Thanksgiving about a month ago in Canadia. Most foreigners with access to TV and other convenient outlets of mass media culture have a fairly good idea of what Thanksgiving entails - the various symbols and "rituals" and so forth. For what it's worth, it falls on the third Thursday of November, in case anyone was curious.

Now, I have a theory about Thanksgiving. I believe that it is the perfect American Holiday, the epitomising and reflecting everytihng it is that makes America great. Or terrible. Or weird. Or whatever adjective it is, exactly, which best describes the status of the contemporary United States.
At its core, Thanksgiving is a celebration of wanton gluttony, and then it is followed by a massive shopping spree - this all constituting an orgy of spending and consumption. Furthermore, Thanksgiving is laden with horribly trite and fake platitudes about a family ideal that doesnt exist - it is full of sugary, hypocritical moralising, about sharing and giving thanks and so forth. You know, all those things that are seen in various Very Special Episodes of TV shows, yet never really happen, either in America, nor anywhere else in the Western world. And, and of course, the whole Thanksgiving edifice is all based in a gross and inaccurate, wilfully ignorant and simplified romanticisation of history. Kindly Indians and grateful Puritans, feasts, blankets, and so forth. No smallpox, no intolerance or misunderstandings, no invasion or oppression, no Trail of Tears, and so forth.

You know, it occurs to me that statements like that might get me branded as "anti-American" despite the fact that I've grown to love the place, partly for these very reasons. It's a cute country, for all its craziness and silliness and hypocracy and so forth.

In fact, I quite like Thanksgiving. The absurdity of it is part of the fun. I noticed that the tendancy, among many intelligent, worldy, compassionate and conscientious Americans, is to be leery of Thanksgiving for the reasons I've outlined - the gluttony, the hypocritical moralising, and especially the historical amnesia and obscurantism. I, however, view these things as secondary... minor amusements of the season, much like Christmas and it's shopping centre Santas with bloodshot eyes, and soulless consumerism, and the occasional pathetic effort to pretend Jesus is somehow involved.
No, cynical avoidance of Thanksgiving is not a response I'd endorse. Rather, the holiday should be embraced for what it is, all negatives sacastically pointed out and enjoyed as part of the rich irony and absurdity of existence - and the holiday cherished as a celebration of FOOD. Glorious food. Call it gluttony and selfish indulgence if you will, but aside from lust, what better sin is there in which to indulge?

Anyway, Thanksgiving is of course not celebrated in Australia. We lack religious outcasts, yams, turkeys, a bone-chilling winter, and other essential ingredients.

However, being still in contact with America through friends over the internet, as well as through the general innundation of Mass Media, leads to awareness of the holiday. These days I also have a couple of other reasons to remember it. I had 3 Thanksgivings in the US, all of which were eventful.
The first year was spent in Honolulu, jetlagged and baffled... Thanksgiving was the day we first set foot on US soil. Took forever to get through customs, of course. And it was too hot. And I couldn't understand any of the Hawaiians when they talked. It was my first time out of the US, my first exposure to a place where mostly everyone talked differently to me. I nearly got hit by a car 3 times, due to the "other side of the road" thing. In short, it was a strange, exhilerating time.
The second year was spend in San Fransisco with the family, and I believe we ate dinner at that staple of Amrican cuisine, Denny's. Wonderful. The third Thanksgiving, scant days before leaving the country, was an actual proper Big American Thanksgiving Feast, as some work buddy of dad's invited us to partake. There was football watched, and bird was eaten. Very satisfactory.

Thanksgiving is America's second best holiday. After Halloween, of course. Christmas, Independence Day, and Marriage Protection Week* run far, far behind in comparison.

*Holy crap... linking to the White House government website!?

Terrorism, Politics, Tragedy, Spectacle, Monkeys
I'm hesitant to post this, as it's a break from the usual tone of this site, as well as pretty damn cynical/heartless, even by my standards. I was getting mad at myself for writing it and I wonder if perhaps it's just Too Soon. But I'll press on:

So today is October 12, the first anniversary of the bombing of a nightclub in Bali. It appears to be a big deal for a lot of Australians, or at least for politicians and the media. As usual, it's hard to tell what most "real" Australians think.

First, a bit of background for the non Australians. Bali, a Hindu enclave in Indonesia, has been colonised by Australians and other westerners (but mostly Australians) in much the same way as Cancun has been colonised by MTV. It's considered a "rite of passage" for Australians (especially those too drunken or short of money to get to Europe), to go to Bali and generally party and such. Buggered if I know why they tolerate us.
Oh, right, money.

But, anyway, because Bali occupies a prominent place in the Australian national psyche, as a place for drinking and partying and revelry, Australia has generally reacted and behaved as if the bombing was an attack on Australia... which, indirectly, it was... Westerners would have certainly been the targets, and I'm sure that wasting a few Hindu islanders didn't particularly concern these guys. Regardless of this fact, though, I've found that this country, as it is prone to do, has massively overreacted to this attack. Not to mention acting like Australians are the only, or even the biggest, victims.
This overreaction has mainly been apparent in the Media and in the Government (and perhaps they are distorting my view of how the country as a whole has reacted), as the shit-flinging monkeys in both areas have been falling all over themselves to trump up the tragedy, make it into a spectacle, turn the surviving victims into the main attractions in this Circus of Voyeuristic Tragedy (paid handsomely for their stories, I assume). Live telecasts of the memorial service... weeks of news stories concerning every little security arrangement (the Indonesians have kindly turned Bali into a kind of fortress for the occasion)... rediculous exaggeration and hyperbole in the parliament, especially on the government side which wants to provoke yet more xenophobia and paranoia, since those are the main reason they manage stay in power.

Generally, I've had trouble feeling any particular "closeness" to the tragedy, like I've been told I'm supposed to, by the aforementioned Media/Politics shitflinging monkeys. Perhaps this is partly because I wasn't in Australia when the attack occurred, and perhaps it's partly because I've "been there" during the whole September 11 thing and, after an initial rush of emotion and hope that the tragedy would at least change the world for the better... I became very cynical and benumbed of such calculated outpourings of "sentiment" by those driven by ratings and opinion polls. And still am. Hell, it's not even just terrorist attacks... I felt the same way about the vultures picking over the Thredbo disaster (Why do I want to be a journalist, again?).

So when I look around here, it looks to me like the country, or at least the shit-flinging monkeys, are subconsciously ecstatic... as though "We get to mourn terrorism too! The evil network is after us! See, we're important!" in that pathetically Australian way we try to inflate our position in the world. The result is a trite, slightly pathetic, certainly tacky, attempt to manufacture something similar to what the American shitflinging monkeys manufactured around September 11. Monkeys see, monkeys do. At the risk of being inflammatory: such overblown and mock-sincere sentiment really is a very American trait... they do it much better than we do, and they lap it up more readily. Copying it does not make this country look very good, and personally, it conjures unpleasant and cynical feelings in me, rather like overdosing on sugar. Maybe I just don't like being told who to mourn for by people who couldn't give a rat's arse about what happened. As though I'm going to forget that these tragedies occurred and hundreds of lives were shattered?

This whole Circus of Tragedy is of course complete with use of rediculous hyperbole (I saw one Victorian MP comparing Bali to Gallipoli) and blatant attempts by "certain forces" in Politics to fearmonger by keeping "severe threat" in everyone's mind... and of course deflect attention from other things which might threaten their hold on power.

88 Australian tourists died in a horrible and senseless attack last year. 212 people died overall. It was one of many recent examples of what a hopelessly divided and violent place our world has become. The Balinese were the biggest victims, and Bali will take years to recover. Australians will just go to Queensland instead.
The world, or even Australia, did not "forever change," and this attack in Indonesia does not make us important like America. Nor does it justify every stupid, pissant thing little Johnny Howard wants to say and do... especially regarding Iraq and the "War on Terror" (Which to the Australian government basically means "sucking up to the Americans and sending out dodgy antiterrorism pamphlets").

The perpetrators of this horrendous crime in Bali have in fact mostly been caught. This is due to real international cooperation, though mainly it seems to have been the Indonesians, rather than the Australian Federal Police. However, the point is that the US, acting as though September 11 as an "Act of War" rather than an international criminal act, and treating it as WAR, has not yet caught anyone, nor brought them to trial.

There's a lesson to be learned there, about how we should react to the current world situation. And it ain't "the world is dangerous, better get real militaristic and support the USA on every single thing they do so they might protect us if Tomorrow, The War Begins" (book reference for the Australians, there. The rest of you, look up John Marsden for an insight into the eternally insecure Australian psyche).

So it's a variation on the old refrain: "Yes it was a terrible tragedy, all sympathies to those whose lives were destroyed, but for God's sake, people... perspective." I feel like an arsehole for saying this, this soon. It feels like it is taboo to point it out, but basically, I'm saying that the Bali Bombing was not as big a deal is it's being made out to be in the Media and by the Government. Can't they let the people mourn and the Balinese rebuild without making a huge spectacle? Surely we don't need to be told who to mourn for. There's something to be said for "quiet" "low key" and "respectful". This doesn't involve live telecasts of people crying and laying wreaths.

Perhaps it's just Too Soon and only the First Anniversary and by next year, things will return to a more reasonable and respectful state of affairs. With a bit of hindsight, we'll most of us manage to put the Bali tragedy into a bit more perspective, and leave the families of victims, and the survivors, and the Balinese people, to try to move on without wounds being re-opened.

Though, it'll quite possibly be election time... so perhaps next year will be worse.

PS: I may be cynical and an arsehole with an opinion who "wasn't even there", but I'm still entitled to stand on my soap box and rant about something I disagree with. I promise I'll try and be funny or irreverent, and avoid politics and world issues, next time.

In the mean time, here's a dosage of silly irreverence: HIPPITY HIPPITY HOP (yes, that is me).

What the World Thinks of America (and what America thinks the world thinks of America)
Those wonderful folks at the government-run British propaganda network that is the BBC just ran a series called What the World Thinks of America.
Such a thing naturally piqued my interest, and I spent far too long browsing the raw statistics they collected from America and various non-America countries. It both surprised and confirmed some stereotypes for me. Politically, I was interested but unsurprised to note that no-one outside the USA (except in Israel) really likes President Bush. This should be a given. More intriguingly, regarding descriptions of America, the world's overall opinion is seemingly that Americans are Free, Arrogant, United, Religious, and Friendly. In that order. Unless you're Brazillian, in which case Americans are Antagonistic, Arrogant, Divided, Not Religious, and Free (Brazillians are also apparently afraid of America right now.)
Overall, the two most common traits attributed to Americans are "free and arrogant", which I suppose fits the image American rhetoric presents on the world stage. All those political speeches and movies to the effect of "Rah rah rah, America is Free and Good and Blessed By God" has the impact of making everyone on the outside think Americans are free, and also arrogant.

But enough politics. Let's talk culture. Regarding American products, the consensus is generally "American Movies and Music = Good. American Television and Food = bad." I'd go along with that. 24% of respondents identified Coca Cola as the first American product that came to mind, versus 3% for Pepsi. If the Cola Wars were real wars, Coca Cola would be torching Pepsi's villages and raping their women.
The Cultural Influence reveals a few things, too. People everywhere that was polled, except in Canada, the UK and the US, think American consumer culture has too much influence. Those countries said the level was about right. Australia, meanwhile, is feeling more Culturally Imperialised than Brazil, France and Russia, and only slightly less so than Korea and Indonesia are (I'd like to meet the 1% of Australian respondants that thinks the US has too little influence...). So a lot of people are feeling like American culture is everywhere. This is interesting when you compare these to the answers to the question "Is your country more or less cultured than America?" Overall, more say they are than aren't (except Israel, Brazil and Korea) perhaps showing that a lot of countries feel their "superior culture" being beseiged by American cultural crap. 63% said Australia is more cultured... so apparently we think we're more cultured than them, but they're taking over our country with their inferior culture? This view, to me, links to that long-term paranoia in Australia about being "swamped" by, well, anyone and everyone.

Now we come to the most personal bit for me - Life in America. They ask "Is America a better place to live?" and "Given the chance, would you like to live in Ameirca?" For Americans, the questions were about America as the best place to live, and about other people wanting to come to America. The disparities couldn't be more marked. 89% of Americans say America is the best country in the world (fair enough, they live there) while most people think their country is a better place to live than America. Only 13% of Indonesians, 6% of Canadians, and - I loved this - a mere 1% of Australians think America is a better place to live. I think that's a sign both of how good Australians have it, and how much we think we're better off than America (Even if they are in a position to swarm us with their culture... which we think we have more of than them...).
Meanwhile, 96% of Americans think other people want to go and live there, yet no more than 25% in any country surveyed actually would live in America given the chance - 25% of Israelis and Brazillians, 24% of Brits and Koreans. Perhaps surprisingly (given that they're supposed to be in economic ruins and "embracing cpaitalism"), just 10% of Russians would live in the US given the chance. This preference for home extends to the US, where almost everyone says they like their country best and wouldn't live elsewhere. I guess most people in the world are just fairly well rooted where they are.
Finally, continuing the theme of rampant paranoia coupled with the realisation that Australia is a Good Place... out of all the countries, more Australians than any other nationality think their country is becoming more like America. A full 81% say that we are. I disagree that we are - at least in the important ways. This, despite John Howard's best efforts at dragging us kicking and screaming towards America until Australia is actually attached to the West Coast of the USA by some sort of land bridge.

Economically and militarily, most countries seem a bit wary of the Americans. Koreans are more afraid of the US than North Korea. An awful lot of people think American military strength makes the world more dangerous, and no-one except Americans much believe that the US is good at avoiding civilian casualties. More people everywhere (except Israel, the UK and Canada) say America is making them poorer moreso than richer - that includes Australia, and no country really wants to copy how America runs the economy, despite how many Americans think other countries do want to emulate them. This might show that people are skeptical of America's economy even though we think of America as rich... perhaps people know about America's huge income inequality, despite the poor not really appearing on TV much?

A glance at the 'aspirations' page shows that people think their countries should emulate certain aspects of America (technological innovation, economic opportunities and freedom of expression), but not nearly so much as Americans think other countries want to emulate them. No-one, however, much wants its military power or pop culture. France and Russia, especially, don't seem to want to emulate America at anything, while Australians seem mostly ambivalent (possibly cos everyone thinks we're already basically American anyway?).

So, this all seems to point to two huge things about Australia's relationship with America, which are things that can be tested fairly easy. Overall, there's fairly ambivalent and passive attitude to individual American products and so forth (since nearly everyone has some American stuff they like), but viewed collectively, Australians get all sad and paranoid at the big picture, and moan about percieved "Americanisation" of Australia. This trend exists in most of the countries, but I think it's more extreme in Australia due to Australia's special brand of paranoia and pessimism regarding its future.

More generally, it confirms that Americans have an inflated opinion of themselves compared to the rest of the world's view. It confirms that Israelis have a kinder view of America than most other countries, and it confirms that Russians and the Franch are probably its biggest critics. This whole thing also vaguely reminds us that other places exist outside of the "Anglosphere" and Europe by showing that Brazillians, Jordanians, Koreans and Indonesians have opinions quite different to that of us rich Westerners.

So, basically, there's this big gap between "us" and "them". We're fond of (some of) their cultural offerings but don't like much of their politics. America is a huge, enormous, complicated place, like any country, and it's a big and vague enough concept to house contradictions easily. This leads to most people in most countries having a very skitzophrenic relationship with America, a love-hate thing. Both inside and outside of America, people make the mistake of blurring different notions of "America" together (views about different aspects of culture, religion, politics, history, economics, personal relationships), leading to all sorts of silliness: arguments, nonsensical hate-rants, bombings, wars...

However, there is one thing everyone agrees on:

America = SEX AND MONEY!!!