4MYEGO

Personalised number plates appear to display the deeper psyche of those who choose to wear them on their vehicles. What makes people spend the money to express themselves this way in public in six or so letters? In many cases, it's love of their vehicle, or a form of advertising. In others, it appears to just be an exhibitionistic urge. Maybe it's a bit like setting up a personal Web page?

On the other hand, what would drive a person to want to categorise personalised number plates? Is this a peculiarly Mensan urge? I am sure Freud would say something about it. Nevertheless, once again ignoring all serious study on the issue, that is what I am about to do here. Over a period of observation, it occurs to me that there are three basic categories of plates, with two sub-groups in each. They can be (with some licence) grouped as follows:

The pure ego - those that show the identity of the owner. This may be purely personal identity, or advertising for a company name.

The id - those that show some form of primitive energy. They often describe the vehicle, or express the joy of owning the particular vehicle. There appears to be a large number of "hot" cars and four-wheel drives in these groups respectively - are those with a predilection for these vehicles expressing their primitive urges?

Finally, (and most loosely) the superego - those that express ideals, or some higher order of thought. These may just be purely descriptive of the owners or their emotions, or, often, just plain clever. The latter are the ones I find most pleasing. There is something praiseworthy about those who spend a premium on their registration just to give other drivers a puzzle, or something to laugh at!

The following examples are mostly actual specimens observed around Melbourne; I take it that these statements are already in the public domain, and I am not violating anyone's personal feelings or copyright in recording them here. In Victoria, these plates are restricted to six characters; in other places, there is a little more freedom. The restricted space seems to mother much creativity - numbers are used to represent letters, and words are contracted to create elegant abbreviations.

The personal identity plates in the ego category range from simple first names: DOTTY, or NADEAN, or surnames such as GRONOW, to combinations like SARAHC. It is often necessary to include numbers, sometimes birth-years: ADAM-01, KELZI-1, SG-1962, CATH-78. The possessive case may be indicated, as GIANES. This may also run in the family: KELLYZ and WOODYZ appear together often. With appropriate manoeuvring, it may be possible to get initials and a number without going to the trouble of buying personalised plates, such as AER-777.

Of course, there are also nick-names: MADKAT, MIFFY, SHONKY or SWIFFA. SPHINX was a little less obvious. BOOFF drives a garbage truck; SQUIRE a utility and GAMBLR a Mercedes-Benz. I am not sure if LEGND is really a legend, or why LIVID is angry. MADD was accompanied by a bull terrier. ANON was suitably anonymous, but I don't know about DIVA6. I haven't seen both of TWIINS in the car at once, either.

I must admit surprise as to why BOOBSY and JUGS-69 wish to advertise themselves in the way they do; and I wonder whether the MR2 driven by BIZAR-1 is his or her only bizarre feature. This category can probably also include those highlighting the identity of their pets, such as MYDANE; but it is harder to be sure what pets would travel in BANTAM or ORCA-1.

The other part of this category is business names or occupations. Straight names are a little unimaginative - such as Coburg Truck Parts with CTP-1, and a driving school with no doubt a number of vehicles like RACV-35. A little more original are CAFFE-3 for Vittoria Coffee, YUMMY-9 for Foodmobile Mobile Catering and SPOUT for Plumbing Supplies. The truck with RECYCLE was fairly obvious, as is the legendary lawyer with LITIG-8. The winner has to be one of REACH-1 on a mobile crane, WEFIXM on a utility, or EGGBOY on a farm products truck.

We could perhaps include sporting interests here, too. Aussie Rules Football seems to have inspired a whole new series of personalised plates. Suffice it to mention RICHMND, with the car stickers clarifying that this is a Tigers supporter. SNOSKI is also somewhat expressive.

In the id category, we have the new breed of explorers in their four-wheel drives: ESCAPE, VAGBON, ALL4, MUDBOY and MUDDUK; DOMUS presumably also lives in the vehicle. BAKOFF makes a pointed request. SETOUT may have a double meaning - the vehicle belongs to a surveyor. Then we have the various "hot" cars: CRUWZN, XLR-8 and AFAST-4. The Saab with GOAL is a little enigmatic - has the goal already been achieved?

Also somewhat enigmatic is STOLN, and then there is the simple request to WASHME - this saves the hand-writing in the dust, I guess.

We can make a second subdivision for the more specifically vehicle-related plates here. KRUIZR on a Land Cruiser tends to represent both groups. Motorcycles sometimes come in here too, such as XSIVE on a Suzuki GSX 1100 tourer. One of the more popular is the Porsche 911, with HOT-911 and the more subtle IXXI. There are more Rolls-Royces starting with RR, and Mercedes with BENZ, than are worth counting; but I guess the simple BMW must have been the early-bird.

MORAY is slightly mispronounced on a Morris Minor, but GTV-670 is very specific on a 1970 Ford V-6 GT Capri.

I would expect that plates in the ego category would normally stay with the person when the vehicle is sold, whereas the id plates would enhance the value of the vehicle. I am not sure what happens when Lyn sells her XR-2 Capri with the LYNXR-2 plates.

In the superego category, we have the clever and the puzzling. How else could you categorise YBNYCE, SUB-0 and HYPDUP? There are the expressive XTASY-1, IIMUCH and OHMY. Is EIEIO-7 owned by a MacDonald? Is IMFREE ready to serve? Are YES-01 and OHYES talking about the same thing? LETSFLY and RUNLUV seem to offer an invitation. Perhaps the nicest plate is ILOVEU-2. VERVE is very expressive, but what are BLITZ-6, CANDID and TRIPE saying?

The second group here covers those that are in a code, or actually leave you something to think about. Roman numerals are common here, with XCIX, LXIX and XLII in particular. The first is significant to a numerologist, the second - well, if it doesn't mean anything, I'm not telling you here - and the last most significant to Douglas Adams' fans.

There are some I put in here, because I can't figure out if there is a puzzle in them or not. Is there any significance in WRXXRW or JUSTSQ? Is ELIMIA a name or a freshwater snail? Does XOX mean kisses and a hug? (How nice!) Is KAISEN (on a Japanese car) on his way to be a road warrior? If you have any answers, drop me an e-mail at the address below.

Then there is the question RUAQT-2? NOONE-8 may be a surname, or is it a description of a very bad dinner party? I am particularly impressed with CMYK on a Colour Printer Supply van. If this does not make sense, I may make it a topic in a future column.

Finally, I leave you with the most elegant puzzle I have seen on a personalised number plate. E-mail me your answers, if you like, and I will publish an answer next issue. The puzzle? AKQJ10.

Note: The version of this story published in TableAus was slightly edited for space reasons. If you want a peek at the answer, see the next edition.

Updated: 13 May 2000

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