Le courrier creole.

A man comes home from a tough day of work looking to unwind. After a relaxing dinner with his wife, they retired to their separate beds. However the man was not yet ready to slumber.
The man called over to his wife, "My little boopey-boo, I'm lonely."
So the woman gets out of bed and crosses her room to the husband. On the way she trips on the carpet and falls on her face. The husband with a concerned look on his face says, "Oh, did my little honey-woney fall on her little nosey-wosey?"
The woman gets up and enters the man's bed. The two have passionate sex and afterwards the woman rolls out. As she is returning to her bed, she once again catches her foot on the carpet and falls flat on her face. The man looks over his shoulder at his wife lying on the floor and says, "Clumsy bitch!"

Charlie was visiting an old friend and his wife for dinner. When the time came to leave, his car wouldn't start, and it was too late to call the local service station. The husband urged Charlie to stay over. There was no spare bed in the house; there wasn't even a sofa. So Charlie would have to sleep with the husband and wife. No sooner had the husband fallen asleep when the wife tapped Charlie on the shoulder and motioned for him to come over to her. "I couldn't do that," he whispered. "Your husband is my best friend!"
"Listen, sugar," she whispered back, "there ain't nothing in the whole wide world could wake him up now." "I can't believe that," Charlie said.
"Certainly if I get on top of you and screw you, he'll wake up, won't he?"
"Sugar, he certainly won't. If you don't believe me, pluck a hair out of his butt and see if that wakes him." Charlie did just that. He was amazed when the husband remained asleep. So he climbed over to the wife's side of the bed and made love to her her. When he finished, he climbed back to his own side.
It wasn't long before she tapped him on the shoulder and beckoned him again.
Again he pulled a hair to determine if his old friend was asleep. This went on eight times during the night. Each time Charlie screwed the woman, he first pulled out one of the husband's butt hairs. The ninth time he pulled a hair, the husband awoke and muttered, "Listen, Charlie, old pal. I don't mind you f--king my wife, but for Pete's sake, stop using my ass for a scoreboard!"

There are these two friends, a white guy and a black guy. One evening they`re in a bar arguing over which of them can have sex the most times in one night. They decide to settle the issue by going to the local whorehouse and gathering experimental evidence, as it were. So they get to the whorehouse, pair off with a couple of the ladies,and go to their respective rooms. The white guy energetically balls his whore and, reaching up with a pencil, makes a "| " mark on the wall. Then he falls asleep. He wakes up in a couple of hours and screws the whore again, albeit a little less enthusiastically this time. Again, he reaches back and marks a " | " on the wall. Again, he falls asleep. He wakes up again in a couple of hours
and lethargically humps the hooker again. He drowsily marks another " | " on the wall and falls asleep for the rest of the night. The next morning, the black guy barges into the white guy`s room to see how he did. He takes one look at the wall and exclaims, "A hundred and eleven?! You beat me by three!"

Charlie marries a virgin. On their wedding night, he's on fire, so he gets naked, jumps into bed, and immediately begins groping her. "Charles, I expect you to be as mannerly in bed as you are at the dinner table." So, Charlie folds his hands on his lap and says, "Is this better?" "Much better!" she replies with a smile. "Okay, then," he says, "now will you please pass the pussy."

Due to increasing products liability litigation, Canadian Distillers and Brewers have accepted Health Canada's suggestion that the following warning labels be placed immediately on all beer, liquor and wine containers:

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may leave you wondering what the hell happened to your bra.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you are whispering when you are not.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to tell your friends over and over again that you love them.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to believe that ex-lovers are really dying for you to telephone them at four in the morning.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you can logically converse with members of the opposite sex without spitting.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may make you think you have mystical Kung Fu powers, resulting in you getting your butt kicked.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause you to roll over in the
morning and see something really scary (whose species and or name you can't remember).

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol is the leading cause of inexplicable rug burns on the forehead.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may create the illusion that you are tougher, smarter, faster and better looking than most people.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may lead you to think people are
laughing WITH you.

WARNING: The consumption of alcohol may cause a disturbance in the
time-space continuum, whereby small (and sometimes large) gaps of time may seem to literally disappear.

......................................................................................................................

A ten-year-old Jewish boy was failing math. His parents tried everything from tutors to hypnosis, but to no avail. Finally, at the insistence of a family friend, they decided to enrol their son in a private Catholic school.

After the first day, the boy's parents were surprised when he walked in after school with a stern, focused and very determined expression on his face. He went straight past them, right to his room and quietly closed the door.

For nearly two hours he toiled away in his room - with math books strewn about his desk and the surrounding floor. He emerged long enough to eat, and after quickly cleaning his plate, went straight back to his room, closed the door and worked feverishly at his studies until bedtime.

This pattern of behaviour continued until it was time for the first
quarter's report card. The boy walked in with it unopened - laid it on the dinner table and went straight to his room. Cautiously, his mother opened it and, to her amazement, she saw a large
red 'A' under the subject of Math. Overjoyed, she and her husband rushed into their son's room, thrilled at his remarkable progress.

"Was it the nuns that did it?" the father asked.
The boy shook his head and said "No."
"Was it the one-to-one tutoring? The peer-mentoring?"
"No."
"The textbooks? The teachers? The curriculum?"
"No", said the son.

................................................................................................................

Confession
"Bless me Father, for I have sinned. I have not been to confession for six months. On top of that, I've been with a loose woman."

The priest sighs.
"Is that you, little Tommy O'Shaughnessy?"
"Yes, Father,'tis I."
"And who might be the woman you were with?"
"I shan't be tellin' you,Father, it would ruin her reputation."
"Well, Tommy, I'm bound to find out sooner or later, so you may as well tell me now. Was it Brenda O'Malley?"
"I cannot say."
"Was it Patricia Fitzgerald?"
"I'll never tell."
"Was it Lisa O'Shanter?"
"I'm sorry, but I'll not name her."
"Was it Cathy O'Dell?"
"My lips are sealed."
"Was it Fiona Mallory, then?"
"Please, Father, I cannot tell you."
The priest sighs in frustration.
"You're a steadfast lad, Tommy O'Shaughnessy, and I admire that. But you've sinned, and you must atone. Be off with you now."

Tommy walks back to his pew. His friend Sean slides over and whispers,
"What'd you get?"
"Five more good leads!" says Tommy.

...................................................................................................................

How's this for an anagram?
"That's one small step for a man, one giant leap for mankind." -Neil
Armstrong
The Anagram:
"A thin man ran; makes a large stride, left planet, pins flag on moon!
On to Mars!

...................................................................................................................

It can buy a House...........But not a Home

It can buy a Bed.............But not Sleep

It can buy a Clock...........But not Time

It can buy you a Book........But not Knowledge

It can buy you a Position....But not Respect

It can buy you Medicine......But not Health

It can buy you Blood.........But not Life

So you see money isn't everything. And it often causes pain and suffering.
I tell you all this because I am your Friend, and as your Friend I want to
take away your pain and suffering...So send me all your money and I will suffer for you. Cash only, please...d attached

.............................................................................................

A guy walks into a bar in Arkansas and orders a white wine.
Everybody sitting around the bar looks up, expecting to
see some pitiful Yankee queer.

The bartender looks up and says,
"You ain't from around here, are ya??? Where ya from, boy?"

The guy says, "I'm from Iowa."

The bartender asks, "What the heck you do in Iowa?"

The guy responds, "I'm a taxidermist."

The bartender asks,
"A taxidermist? Now just what the heck is a taxidermist?"

The guy says nervously, "I mount animals."

The bartender grins and shouts out to the whole bar,
"It's okay boys, he's one of us!"

Un avion de diplomates s'écrase dans la jungle, il y a trois rescapés : un Français, un Américain et un Belge. Ils sont immédiatement captures par la tribu locale (comme toujours dans ces cas-là). Le chef s'approche et dit : - " Voilà ! Comme aujourd'hui nous avons récupéré assez de viande pour passer l'hiver, je vous propose un marché. Si vous voulez rester en
vie il faut passer deux épreuves. La première, nous ramener chacun 100 fruits de la foret vierge. Pour la deuxième, on verra plus tard. "
L'Américain refuse : - " Je m'oppose a toute forme de chantage en vertu des droits de l'homme."
Le chef du village attrape l'Américain et lui coupe la tête. Le Belge et le Français, pétrifiés, acceptent. Le chef donne a chacun un sac et les conduit a l'orée de la foret vierge.- " Allez ... revenez vite avec 100 fruits ! " Le Français revient le premier avec un sac plein de letchis. Le chef le félicite et réunit le conseil du village et lui dit : -" Voilà ! Maintenant nous pouvons passer à la deuxième épreuve. Il faut que tu te rentres un par un chaque fruit dans le cul sans crier, sans rire et sans parler. Apres, nous te laisserons la vie sauve. "
Le Français s'exécute avec beaucoup de mal 1, 2, 3 ... 96, 97. Au 98eme litchi il éclate de rire. Le chef l'attrape et pan, il lui coupe la tête. Le Français arrive aux portes du paradis et Saint-Pierre l'interroge : - " Eh bien, je ne comprend pas. J'ai suivi toute la scène et vous aviez pratiquement réussi la deuxième épreuve. Comment ça se fait que vous ayez craqué au 98eme letchi ? "
- " C'est la faute du Belge ! C'est quand je l'ai vu arriver avec ses noix de coco !"

(Note de la Redaction: Nou Creole nou kon zistoire la avec bannane ek zananas !!!!!!!)

Il était une fois une grenouille qui vivait dans une forêt si immense qu'elle n'avait jamais rencontré un autre animal de sa vie. Un jour, en se promenant, elle aperçut un ours qui chassait un lapin pour son dîner. La grenouille leur demanda de s'arrêter sur-le-champ et leur dit:- "Parce que vous êtes les deux premiers animaux que je rencontre, je vous
accorde chacun trois souhaits."
- "Toi l'ours, commence!"
L'ours se mit à réfléchir un instant et finalement, en sa qualité de mâle, dit: - "Je souhaite que tous les ours de cette forêt, à part moi, soient des femelles."
Le lapin à son tour, ne perdant pas un instant, dit:- "Je veux un casque de motocyclette". Qu'il s'empressa de mettre immédiatement sur sa tête. L'ours fut vraiment surpris de la stupidité du lapin, gaspillant son premier voeu de cette façon. Enfin, il était temps de faire un deuxième voeu et l'ours, dans la même ligne de pensée dit:- "Je souhaite que tous les ours de la forêt voisine soient également des femelles".

Encore une fois, le lapin aussi rapidement qu'au premier tour dit :- "Je veux une motocyclette".
La motocyclette apparut et le lapin s'empressa de sauter dessus et de la démarrer. L'ours était de plus en plus déconcerté de la stupidité du lapin. Après tout, il aurait pu demander une somme d'argent considérable et acheter un casque et une motocyclette et avoir encore de l'argent à sa disposition. Enfin pour le dernier souhait, l'ours réfléchit un peu et dit:- "Je souhaite que tous les ours du monde entier, à part moi, soient des femelles".
Le lapin se mit à sourire d'un air coquin et dit, tout en faisant gronder sa moto:
"Je souhaite que l'ours soit pédé".

Docteur, je crois que j'ai un problème. Un de mes testicules est devenu tout bleu !
Le docteur l'examine rapidement et conclut :
- Il va falloir vous opérer. On doit vous retirer ce testicule rapidement !
- Vous rigolez ?!? Je ne vais sûrement pas vous laisser faire une chose pareille !
- Vous voulez mourir ou quoi ? Ce que vous avez est extrêmement grave. Il n'est pas question de rigolade !
Finalement, le patient se range à l'avis de l'homme de l'art, et dès le lendemain, l'opération a lieu.
Une semaine plus tard, l'opéré est de retour en consultation chez le médecin :
- Docteur, c'est pas de chance, mais je crois bien que le testicule qui me reste est en train de virer au bleu comme l'autre.
Une fois encore, le médecin conseille la couillectomie (1). Bien que le patient soit encore plus réticent, il se laisse convaincre une fois encore. Dès le lendemain, la castration a lieu.
Mais une semaine plus tard, il faut bien se résoudre à l'évidence : il y a encore un problème. Chez le docteur, le patient anxieux bredouille :
- Docteur... ça ne va vraiment pas fort. Cette foi c'est mon sexe qui devient tout bleu...
L'examen du médecin aboutit à une mauvaise nouvelle : il va falloir procéder à l'amputation du pénis.
- Mais enfin docteur, c'est impossible. Comment vais-je faire pour faire pipi ?
- Oh vous savez, ce n'est pas si grave que ça en a l'air : on vous greffera un tuyau de plastique dans l'urètre, et hop !
Résigné, le patient est émasculé dès le lendemain et pense en avoir définitivement terminé avec les amputations... Sauf que... Une semaine après l'opération, il revient chez le médecin pour se plaindre :
- Docteur, le tuyau de plastique devient bleu !
- Quoi ?????
- Je vous dis qu'il bleuit ! Qu'est-ce que ça veut dire docteur ?
L'examen du médecin est un peu plus méticuleux, et finalement aboutit à cette conclusion :
- Hmm, j'ai un doute... Se pourrait-il que ce soient vos jeans qui déteignent ?...

ndlr : (1) terme authentiquement scientifique...
********************************************************************************************************

Joe Smith started the day early having set his alarm clock (MADE IN JAPAN) for 6 a.m. While his coffeepot (MADE IN CHINA) was perking, he shaved with his electric razor (MADE IN HONG KONG). He put on a dress shirt (MADE IN SRI LANKA), designer jeans (MADE IN SINGAPORE) and tennis shoes (MADE IN KOREA). After cooking his breakfast in his new electric skillet (MADE IN INDIA) he sat down with his calculator (MADE IN MEXICO) to see how much he could spend today. After setting his watch (MADE IN TAIWAN) to the radio (MADE IN INDIA) he got in his car (MADE IN GERMANY) and continued his search for a good paying AMERICAN JOB. At the end of yet another discouraging and fruitless day, Joe decided to relax for a while. He put on his sandals (MADE IN BRAZIL) poured himself a glass of wine (MADE IN FRANCE) and turned on his TV ! (MADE IN INDONESIA), and then wondered why he can't find a good paying job.

********************************************************************************************************

Joke Moricien….Gallant Colone
Il est 14h. Péniblement, je sors de mon lit, le corps ruisselant de sueur, ma couverture complètement humide. Le soleil brille. Il fait chaud, j'ai froid. les oiseaux gazouillent, ils m'agacent. Je suis énerve. Je passe devant mon miroir. Je me regarde Je suis beau. Cela me rassure.
J'attrape mon peigne, je me graisse les cheveux de l'huile boire (parce que je le vaux bien), la bouteille est déjà vide a demi. Je me coiffe. J'avance mes soubises, je tire une berte. Je suis encore plus beau. Je me parfume, je me sens, …Impulse. tout peut arriver Je passe mon body rouge, mon pantalon bagui gabardine grenat, qui m'arrive au-dessus de la taille et de la cheville, mes chaussettes blanches, mes escarpins crème. Dans la glace, je suis classe. Je prends mon cellulaire (je suis net dans la manière), je vérifie les piles, elles fonctionnent On appuie sur n'importe quelle touche et il fait dring dring. Comme un vrai.
Moins de dix minutes après mon réveil, me voila lor coltar. La flamme, je perce, me dis-je. J'arrive en face du collège. Dans quelques minutes la cloche sonnera, les filles sortiront, elles me verront. J'arrive a ma pylône. Je m'y adosse. Je me passe une main dans les cheveux. Tiens, c'est gras. Je l'essuie contre mon pantalon, cela laisse une tache d'huile. Très vite je tire mes lunettes noires. Je me sens acteur. Je les mets sur mon front. Ca glisse, je lève le menton. Je sors un bâton d'allumette de ma poche. Je me cure les dents de devant. J'ai oublie de me les brosser. Apres je mets l'allumette au coin de la bouche. Cela me donne un air a la Clint Eastwood. Ca doit être beau. Je me bombe le torse Rien ne sort! Je ressemble a Rambo.
La cloche sonne. Les filles sortent. Je les regarde. Elles ne me regardent pas. Je fais "pssst pssst." Le bâton d'allumette tombe, suivi d'un filet de bave. Enfin l'une d'elles me reconnaît.
Elle dit a ses copines : "Eh, alla colonel." C'est vrai, elles me confondent avec Rambo. Ses copines et elles rient. Elles sont heureuses de me voir
L'une d'elles lance "Eh Colonel, colonne la pas pou tomber." Un compliment sur ma force me dis-je. Je lui sors "Bonzour ma belle." Elle a une pensée spéciale pour mes parents. Elle me dit d'aller dire bonjour a ma maman. Cela me touche.
Je sors ma boite de J&B dans laquelle j'avais rangé quelques matinees. J'en allume une a la manière du cowboy. Je tousse, je racle, je crache. Je me sens viril. Je vois venir une autre mine accompagnee d'une copine. L'une ressemble a une chopine, l'autre a un Boeing. Je fronce les sourcils, fais un sourire et dit "salit poupettes." Elles commencent a courir dans l'autre sens. Je ne sais pas pourquoi.
Tiens voila que passe Laurine. Ca c'est une coquine. Tous les jours elle fait au moins deux brushings. Je lui Dis "Coucou Laurine, veut tu être ma Valentine." Elle sort son parapluie, me le met sous le nez "Eh oula guette bien are ki Ou gagne zafer. Moi je suis une fille bien." Au moins, elle m'a parler. C'est l'essentiel.

Did you notice that in the older James Bond movies, he always says his
name as, "My name is Bond, James Bond."

Once it so happened in a flight that, James bond was sitting besides a
Telugu guy. Both were travelling to US.

Bulusupalli Sitaramanjaneyula Rajasekhara Srinivasula Laxminarayana Siva
Venkata Sai..."

N femme dir ek so mari : "Cherie zordi mo pou guet Canal +, ena n film
porno". Mari reponde : "Zordi pena pou guet Canal+, zordi moi ki pou + to
canal!!! "

N zom p lire zurnal lor so lili, N coup li met ledwa dan fleur so femme. So
femme dir to envi faire gate? Zom la dire mo zis in mouye mo ledwa, pou tourne
page zurnal!

N garcon al propose n tifille.
Tifille : "Sorry mo engage"
Garcon : "To pli engage ki rezo cell+ toi, in ler pou tir to kilot, met n
keylock!!!"

Quel est l'animal la plus dure a tuer?
La Femme!
(2 balles aux culs, une decharg e dans le ventre et elle gigote
toujours!!!)

N couple p drague, bel nissa mo dire toi.
Femme la dire :"Nou al dan touf, pa p kapav tini, mo mari envi faire" Boug
la dimande li : "Malice?" Femme la dire : "Non. P gagne fort KK!!!"

Ene vieux ton p marche so la bragu ette grand ouvert , ene joli mamzelle p
passe dir : ton ou garage ouvert. Vieux Ton bien content repond: ou fin
trouve sa mercedes la dans la. Mamzelle repond: mo fin trouve ene vieux mini
craze craze avec 2 la roues plates.

Ene gros madam pe marche . Ene ti jeunesse passe dir : guette ca gros tawa
la ta. Gros Madame virer li dire: Guette mo gros tawa meme toi , tor pa p
cuit roti lor la tous les soirs!

*********************************************************************************************************
In the beginning, God created earth and
rested. Then God created man and
rested. Then God created woman. Since
then, neither God nor man has rested.
--------------------
if your dog is barking at the back door
and your wife is yelling at the
front door, who do you let in first?
The Dog of course...at least he'll shut
up after you let him in!
--------------------
A man placed some flowers on the grave
of his dearly departed mother
and started back toward his car when
his attention was diverted to
another man kneeling at a grave. The
man seemed to be praying
with profound intensity and kept
repeating, "Why did you have to die?
Why did you have to die?" The
first man approached him and said,
"Sir, I don't wish to interfere with
your private grief, but this
demonstration of pain is more than I've
ever seen before. For whom do you mourn
so deeply? A child? A parent?"
The mourner took a moment to collect
himself, then replied, "My
wife's first husband."
--------------------
A couple came upon a wishing well. The
husband leaned over, made a wish
and threw in a penny. The wife decided
to make a wish, too. But she
leaned over too much, fell into the
well, and drowned. The husband was
stunned for a while but then smiled "It
really works!"
--------------------

A man said his credit card was stolen
but he decided not to report it
because the thief was spending less
than his wife did.
--------------------

First Guy (proudly): "My wife's an angel!"
Second Guy: "You're lucky, mine's still alive."
--------------------
Before marriage, a man yearns for the
woman he loves. After marriage,
the "y" becomes silent.
--------------------
A little boy asked his father, "Daddy,
how much does it cost to get
married?" And the father replied, "I
don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
--------------------
Women are unpredictable. Before
marriage, she expects a man, after
marriage she suspects him, and after
death she respects him.
--------------------
There was this guy who told his woman
that he loved her so much that he
would go thru hell for her. They got
married - and now he is going thru hell.
--------------------
A man inserted an 'ad' in the
classifieds : "Wife wanted". Next day, he
received a hundred letters. They all
said the same thing : "You can have mine."
--------------------
When a man opens the door of his car
for his wife, you can be sure of
one thing: either the car is new or the
wife is.......
--------------------
A man received a letter from some
kidnappers. The letter said, "If you
don't promise to send us $100,000, we
promise you we will kidnap your
wife." The poor man wrote back, " I am
afraid I can't keep my promise
but I hope you will keep yours."
--------------------
"What's the matter, you look
depressed." "I'm having trouble with my
wife." "What happened?" "She said she
wasn't going to speak to me for 30
days." "But that ought to make you
happy." "It did, but today is the last day."
-------------------------------------------------------------
Wife: I have a headache.

Husband: Perfect, I was just in the bathroom powdering my dick with asprin,
you can take it orally or as a suppository it's up to you.
-------------------------------------------------------------
A husband is at home watching a football game when his wife
interrupts, "Honey, could you fix the light in the hallway? It's been
flickering for weeks now".
He looks at her and says angrily,
"Fix the light? Now? Does it look like I have an Electricity Board
logo printed on my forehead?... I don't think so."

"Well then, could you fix the fridge door? It won't close properly".
To which he replied,
"Fix the fridge door? Does it look like I have 'Hotpoint' written on
my forehead?...... I don't think so".

"Fine" she says, "Then could you at least fix the steps to the front
door? They're about to break".
"I'm not a bloody carpenter and I don't want to fix the steps", he
says.

"Do you see 'Black and Decker' written on my forehead? ........I don't
think so. I've had enough of you, I'm going down the pub!"

So he goes to the pub and drinks for a couple of hours. He starts to feel
guilty about how he treated his wife, and decides to go home and help out.
As he walks into the house, he notices the steps are already fixed.
As he enters the house he sees the hall light is working.
As he goes to get a beer, he notices the fridge door is fixed.

"Honey, how'd this all get fixed?"

She said, "Well, when you left, I sat outside and cried. Just then a
nice young man asked me what was wrong and I told him. He offered to do all
the repairs, and all I had to do was either screw him or bake him a cake."

"So, what kind of cake did you bake him?"

To which she replied, "Hellloooo..........Do you see Delia Smith
written on my forehead?"
--------------------
A few days before his proctological exam, a one-eyed man accidentally
swallowed his glass eye. He was worried for a while, but there were no
ill effects so he forgot about it. Once he was in the doctor's office, the
man followed instructions, undressed and bent over. The first thing the
proctologist saw when he looked up the man's rear was that eye staring right back at him.
"You know," said the doctor, "you really have to learn to trust me."
-----------------------------------------
Ali G's Sister is pregnant and has a car accident and falls into a deep
coma. Asleep for nearly six months, she wakes up and sees that she
is no longer pregnant. Frantically, she asks the doctor about her baby.
The doctor replies, "Ma'am, you had twins! A boy and a girl. The babies
are fine. Your brother came in and named them."
The woman thinks to herself, "Oh no, not my brother...he's an idiot!"
Expecting the worst, she asks the doctor, "Well, what's the girl's name?"
"Denise," the doctor says. The new mother thinks, "Wow, that's not a bad
name! Guess I was wrong about my brother. I like Denise!" Then she asks the
doctor, "What's the boy's name?" The doctor replies, "Denephew."

----------------------------------------

NEVER ARGUE WITH AN INTELLIGENT WOMAN
A couple went on vacation to a fishing resort up
north. The husband liked to fish at the crack of dawn. The wife liked to
read. One morning the husband returned after several hours of fishing and
decided to take a short nap.
Although she wasn't familiar with the lake, the wife decided to take the
boat. She rowed out a short distance anchored, and returned to reading her
book. Along came the sheriff in his boat. He pulled up alongside her and
said,"Good morning, Ma'am. What are you doing?"
"Reading my book," she replied, as she thought to herself, 'Isn't it
obvious?'"You're in a restricted fishing area," he informed her.
"But officer, I'm not fishing. Can't you see that?" "Yes, but you have all
the equipment. I'll have to take you in and write
you up." "If you do that, I'll have to charge you with rape,"
snapped the irate woman. "But, I haven't even touched you," groused the
sheriff. "Yes, that's true," she replied, "But you do have
all the equipment."

MORAL: Never argue with a woman who knows how to
read.

---------------------------------------------
ITS HARD BEING A PENIS:

A HEAD WITH NO BRAIN,
AN EYE THAT'S BLIND,
TWO OF ITS NEIGHBOURS ARE NUTS,
ONE'S AN ARSE,
AND ITS BEST FRIEND IS A P*s*y!

--------------------------------------------

Naughty rhymes:

If holding your cum was like holding your breath

Lack of good sex could lead to your death

A mans balls would surely do...........

The same as his face as both balls turn blue!

----------------------------------------------

If women would starve without Oral-S*X,

Their bellies would rumble malnourished and vex

If they got NONE at home night after night

Just to survive they'd go out for a bite!

________________________________________________________________________

More jokes 1 | 2