Chris Lobsinger - Problem Gambling

Problem Gambling Do's and Don'ts

For the person changing their gambling:

Do talk to someone if you have the urge to gamble. Let yourself be talked out of it and into another activity.

Don't quit on yourself. A slip back into gambling is not the end of the world. Use it to help you modify your personal plan and achieve your goal.

Don't chase losses. This will only increase the damage. It may even reinforce your gambling behaviour.

Don't be too hard on yourself. Treat a slip for what it is: a disappointing delay in achieving your goal. By being too hard on yourself, you can waste the opportunity and spend too much time and energy demoralizing yourself.

Do get hard on gambling. No matter how big or small the slip, use the opportunity to modify your plan and to learn from the slip. Remember, put your energy into working toward your goal, not demoralizing yourself.

Do handle relapses sensibly. One of the things that can make it difficult to handle a relapse or slip is that once you have one bet you may win and wish to continue. If you lose, you may want to gamble to win it back. Continued gambling ultimately leads to more problems. This is why it is important to give yourself permission to walk away from gambling as soon as possible. Whether you are winning or losing, the sooner you walk away the better. Feel good about cutting your gambling short. You will have avoided more financial and relationship damage than if you had continued to gamble.

Don't ignore a slip. Even small slips give you information about your gambling. Use them to reach your goal.

Do tell your spouse or an important support person. By telling someone as soon as possible, you build trust and respect with them. This is an important step in breaking the habit of deception and lies that may be adding to your problems.

Do talk to supportive people about your goal to stop or reduce your gambling. It is most important to discuss slips. You may use supportive groups like Gamblers Anonymous or Gam-Anon.

Do limit or cut off your access to cash and credit. Problem gambling cannot happen if there is no money to gamble with.

Do rethink your recreational activities. Fill your time with a mix of rewarding and useful activities. Include work, relaxing, socialising, and play.

Do get started right away after a slip. Don't let gambling get started again. Instead stick with your goal, and take back control from gambling.

For the spouse or partner of the person changing:

Do protect family and personal financial resources. You can help by making sure that cash and credit are not accessible.

Do let the gambler know you support their efforts.

Don't pretend you are not disappointed by a slip. Instead, be honest about your feelings, but don't fly off the handle. Take steps to protect yourself and others from financial problems and encourage your partner to stick their plan.

Do get some support for yourself : You may need to talk to a supportive person about how you feel before you can discuss it with your partner. Professional counselling and supportive groups like Gam-Anon can help.

Don't blame yourself: Remember that ultimately the choice to gamble and the challenge to stop gambling is your partner's.