I was born into a pretty secular lutheran family, as most people in Finland do, and was baptized as a baby. During those childhood years religion was not an issue, though I did consider myself christian. We went to church on christmas, sometimes, and attended christian weddings and funerals. I took part in the teaching of religion at school. That was about it. We didn't pray at home, didn't talk about JC, didn't read the Bible.

So, at 14-15 or so - partly because of the influence of Sophie's World, partly because of the age - I started to really ask the questions. Where did the world come from? Who am I? Why are we here? What should I do with my life? Due to the "nonthinking" position of my parents, I rapidly adopted christianity as a worldview, salvation and all. A kid needs answers.

Of course there was the added admiration for the world: How can this all be? It has since been a driving force in my life. It is what drove me to learn.

The period of christianity was brief in my life, and I never was all that fundamental: more like believing in JC as the son of god and then doing what I felt was right. That's probably why my deconversion was so easy. As the world I admired was more and more explained by natural means, I learned to place my respect where it truly belongs: not some force behind nature but the nature itself. The gaps that remain can remain unknown. It would be arrogant to assume our puny human brain could understand everything.

That's the story. As of autumn 2000 I've considered myself atheist for 3 years or so, plus the 2 years that I refused to accept the name for myself. All my friends know, as does my immediate family and my (christian) boyfriend. None of them have had much of a problem with it. I'm involved with the christian student group who know of my atheism and are ok with it - we do, after all, have very similar morals and the same love for life, and the same way of having fun with friends without alcohol. Not to say it has all been easy, but things have worked out.

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