Reason for Joining

I was born a Christian, baptised a Presbyterian and attented Sunday School. Was there any escape?

Story

When I was younger, I was so into Church. I loved going to Sunday School when I was young, up until I was about 11 or 12. I loved learning about God and Christianity, and I believed that Christianity was the only way to go, and that God ruled all. In Sunday School, we were only taught about the good things that happened in the course of biblical history. About the 'good' aspects of Christianity. And I swallowed what was rammed down my throat. I remember even getting angry at a girl I went to school with because she was dissing God....this was when I was 13. I became bored with Church, as I was too old to be going to Sunday school. There was no youth group at the church I attended. None of my friends went to youth groups and they didn't know of any. The church services were old fashioned, and the sermons were outdated and boring. So I stopped going to church. I also found out things about the bible and Christianity that I had not known before. There were rules about sex, homosexuality, tattoo's, horoscopes, witchcraft and other lifestyle habits. I never knew that side of Christianity, and it bugged me. I am a very open minded person, who takes each person as they come, regardless of colour, sex or belief. I appreciate people on the content of their character and not their religion. If they're Christian, gay, African-American, Wiccan, tattoo-ed, then to me, it doesn't matter. It makes me so upset when I see division because of religion, and I've seen my fair share of it happen.

Recently, a new minister came to our church. He was young, idealistic and had a bunch of new ideas for the congregation. He was going to introduce a new, younger and more contemporary service, with new songs. I was excited, because I had promised my parents to give Christianity another go when I finished school. But still, It didn't feel right. I went to church, and I felt nothing. I met alot of nice people who were very kind to me when I told them my story, they were eager to help out. But it felt so wrong, and so I stopped going.

Rejecting Christianity (for now) has hurt alot of people close to me, especially my parents. A few close friends too. They are very understanding and they accept that right now, maybe Christianity is not right for me. They believe I should be able to find my own way there, but I still know how much it hurts them, and sometimes I wish that I could be Christian and believe in God for the sake of them being happy. But I can't be something I'm not. It's to hard, and too tiring. It's seriously emotionally draining and gets me depressed alot of the time. Right now I'm enjoying life (when I don't think about religion) and I do not feel I am missing something from my life. I may rediscover Christianity when I'm a little older (i'm 19 right now), but as for now, I can't handle lying to everyone in my life, and I can't handle being someone I'm not.

Details