Although I was Christened as a baby my parent s were neither Christian nor intended me to be. I grew up in a "normal", stable family and everything was going well. At primary school I met a friend called Gillian from a Christian family who voiced loudly her concerns whenever I called out "Oh my God". She convinced a friend and me to visit her church youth group. We did. As time went on they started a deal wherein you got all the outings for half price if you went to at least 50% of them. This however included Sunday Services. I was converted at the age of 11 as a 18 year old youth leader prayed with me just hours after my fathers death. I was informed that although he was going to Hell as he wasn't a guy who had accepted God into his life and Jesus as his saviour blah blah blah but I could do better and go to Heaven where everything was noce blah blah blah...

This all seemed like a very nice idea and I thus became the world worse daughter. I picked my mum up on all her blasphemy. told my family they were all going to Hell etc etc. My friend though it was great, she';d converted two people at such a young age! In the end I dragged my younger sister along to this evangelical church every Sunday with me. The majority of the kids in the junior sunday school were all the children of well-known church faces but she seemed to make friends. As I grew up I broke up with this friend Gillian and other friends at school. But in my mind it didn't matter because I still had other church friends. I stopped youht group but carried on going to Sunday Services.

As I approached 14 I started to think more. After an argument with my mum I was thinking and i thought came to my head. If my Dad had gone to Hell why didn't i want to go where he was? What right did this girl have to tell me that?More things started to come to me. One Sunday morning at notices time a church elder spoke of how we should all unite against the proposal for a Gay and Lesbian group in the area. What happened to Tolerance? When being bullied at youth camp by all these Christian Children the leaders tole ME not be so juveniel. What right did I have to lecture my family about religion? I hated whatb I'd become. I stopped going to Church and joined a marching band that practiced on Sunday Mornings. I gained more confidence having a good time than constntly being told how to avoid Hell.

When I started sixth form at 16 I was the happiest I'd been for my life. Until second year when I managed to find that I'd acciedently made friends with a seeminly group of fanatics. The trapped me again but again I broke free. these days I subscribe to no religion. Nobody tells me what to think. Every week they ask me to Christian Union or invite me to church events, the same as this summers bible camo. I'm now an official free thinker having the time of my life. Church should have helped me escape from the problems of my youth and the bullying at school. It became a porblem and a source of bullying. I'm crazy over a cuy at the moment, a devout christian from a family of them. Even for him, should anything happen, I'd never change my beliefs.

Whats important is that my beliefs are my own under no pressure. There may be a God, I don't know but I've exams to study for and a future to prepare for.

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