I was adopted 20 days before my 3rd birthday. I remember the day I was adopted and everything after that, but nothing before that. I was raised Southern Baptist. My mother and I went to Church every Sunday morning. When I was about 8 years old I was in Sunday school and wasn't paying attention. The teacher had asked a question and was going around the table getting answers. Everyone was saying yes, so I decided to go against the flow and say No. OOPS! She had just asked if we were saved! Not wanting to look stupid, I agreed to say the sinner's prayer and got "Saved". But it was just an accident, I didn't mean it.

Later on when I was about 12 my mom took me to an Easter play (a professional one) where they depicted Jesus being Crucified. I was very touched and went down front to be "Saved" again. I then began getting very active in the church. I went Sunday morning, Sunday Night and Wednesday night. I assistant taught the gradeschoolers and sang in the choir. But ALL this time, I felt that something just wasn't right... but I never could put my finger on it.

I wanted to be a "good little Christian Girl" and do all the right things... but the things they deemed as "right" didn't seem so right to me. Anytime I was in that church the only thing I could think about was going outside... into nature. I felt at peace when I was in the forest and wished I could stay there forever. The full moon has always beckoned me, calling for me to follow it wherever it goes. I used to dream about running away under a full moon and always just following it over the horizon. I wrote poems and stories about it. I loved nature and all things in it....

Finally I graduated High School (with honors) and moved on to College. It was when I left my high school sweetheart and began dating a guy I had met in my choir that I began seeing the true side of things. I don't remember how exactly, but we somehow stumbled upon Paganism. The more I read about it, the more enthralled I became with it. Suddenly all my life-long questions were being answered. I learned the true history behind Christianity and the true history of the Bible. I realized it was all just lies. I felt as though a veil had just been lifted from my eyes and I now saw the world in its true colors. I was deeply saddened by the fact that I and so many others have been and some still are, victims to the lie.

That was in 1997... it is now almost 2003. I am still studying and still looking for that one path that fits me perfectly. One thing is for sure -- Paganism is a religion of extreme knowledge. You decide for yourself what path to follow. You are not brainwashed into believing what everyone else believs and you are not made to feel like an outcast if your beliefs differ from someone elses.

My beliefs are a little strange... I believe that Jesus did walk the earth, and he did have some good teachings, but the rest of the Bible is BS. It was written by man, for man, to control man. Many pagans pray to a specific god or goddess or to multiple gods and goddesses. I don't feel comfortable putting a name to whatever power(s) may be. I feel it is arrogant to assume that I can attach a name or label to such a being. I acknowledge that there is a higher being, and I leave it at that. He/She/It certainly knows who and what they are, but who am I to say that I do? I will know when my time comes, but not a moment before then. Until then, I say my thanks and I try to live my life the best I can. No one can judge me except for the powers that be.

Thank You.

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