I'm now in my mid/late 40s, and have been struggling with the question of the existence of the christian god (or whatever you choose to call it) since I was 16. I spent my childhood until I was 16 (1973) happily without religion of any kind until my dad began to suffer from heart problems and had his first open-heart surgery in 1972 to alleviate arterial blockage. The operation was a success, and in a few months, he was back to his old self. My mother comes from a Jewish background, well, actually she says that her parents, my grandparents were "Bohemians" who eschewed religion and went on their merry way without it. Good people. My father's parents were (choke...) Jehova's Witnesses as well as raging alcoholics, which to me was an indication of the ignorance of the day. So by the time my sister and brother and I came along, my parents were not involved with organized religion, and all was well with my world. I can even remember in 8th grade when a christian kid tried to witne

Back to 1973...my mom was working part-time for a department store in our city near Los Angeles, and had a coworker who was "born again" and attended the local Friends (read: Quaker) church, which was basically nondenominational, but very bible-oriented. She persuaded my parents to come, and before long they were singing praises of god and jesus as being the reason behind dad's quick recovery from heart surgery. Both of my parents became the obsessed and devout christians that they still are today. They're both nice loving people, but think if you don't believe like them, you're going to "hell". I was dragged to church, and in one evening service, we were asked to "give our hearts to our savior jesus christ". We were told to raise our hands if we sincerely wished to be "saved", which I just could NOT do! When asked by my parents later if I had, I said "yes" just to please them. I was dragged to church (not in a bad way, just against my wishes...I wanted to sleep in!) and sat through

Then it was off to college, and with my lackluster grades, the only universities that would accept me were affiliated with churches. I chose Azusa Pacific, and what a mistake! I hated bible classes, skipped chapel regularly (and was fined each day as a result) and quit going. Wasted a lot of dad's money that year.

Well, then some years went by, and I got married for the first time at 22 to a girl with like tastes, not really religious, loved to party, and our son came along in 1983. Went through the motions with church once in a while to please the folks, had my son "dedicated" to the lord, but still didn't think much of religion at all. But I agonized over it...like something was wrong with ME! Divorced in 1986, then remarried in 1988 and along came my two daughters. The second marriage was a disaster. Wife cheated and never came home some nights, and I was Mr. Mom. Love my kids dearly, and we got by just fine without her...and tried and tried to believe in god to make it work. Went and got the anointing with oil bullshit, prayed fervently, really tried to make it work. Nothing. God or whoever was nowhere in sight. Things just got worse as I prayed for relief. The economy went south in the early 90s and so did my career. Had a really bad 2nd divorce in 1994. Started to really believe in the f

Well, I finally woke up a few years ago with the help of a friend who's an atheist, and I've never been happier than leaving that set of illogical and ludicrous ideas of the existence of god in the past. Since I deconverted, life's been wonderful. I have a great life, my kids are all doing great (my son's now a highly-skilled pilot on his way to a degree and flying for the airlines) and I have found true peace. All without god, jesus, church and all of that other baloney.

Freedom from religion is truly a beautiful thing!! It is truly "an opiate for the masses". I also think that all of the divisiveness in this world, the muslims against jews against christians, etc., etc., etc., is caused by organized religion. It causes more problems than it purports to help. Our unelected, incompetent president George W. Bush is setting a dangerous precedent by aligning his decisions with his foolish beliefs. And don't get me started on morons like John Ashcroft!!! John Lennon had it right with the song "Imagine"!

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