I confessed christ as my saviour when I was about 8. Didn't get baptised until I was 20. After several cycles of tragedies in my life, I finally gave it up when my son was diagnosed with a major handicap. Along the way I sought knowledge and strength from the bible. I can best describe my disillusionment with a little story I call modern Job. It goes like this: A man was sitting in a city park watching his children play on the playground.

A child molester approaches. The man says "What's up?" The molester answers "I've been from one side of this playground to the other looking for kids to molest". The man says "Have you considered my oldest daughter Jobsephine, she is beautiful and honest. And she is very loyal and obedient". "Of course she is!Your protect her and hedge her in. You give her everything she asks for.Take it away and she will curse you to your face!", replied the molester. The man said "you've got yourself a bet. My house will be unsecure. Come and take what you wish, only do not lay a hand on her". That night the molester came and took all her belongings. Toys and pretty clothing. Just like the Grinch who stole Christmas. In the morning Jobsephine realized everything was gone. Her brother said "you know dad let that creep in to do this very thing" Jobsephine sighed and said "dad gives and dad takes away. praise daddy!" The next day at the same city park, the same conversation occured between the man and the molester.

The molester said "skin for skin. You let me have my way with her and she will curse you to your face!" "All right do with her as you will, but spare her life". That night the man let the molester in and he violated Jobsephine. He completely destroyed her childhood and innocence. Her brother said "you know dad let that molester in so that he could violate you. Curse dad to his face!"

The shattered Jobsephine replied,"You talk like an ungrateful son. Do we only accept good from dad and not bad?" In all of this Jobsephine never blamed her father.

I think the story of Job is horrible. There are many,many examples of god's cruelty in the bible. But the bible always blamed human beings, instead of the angry, jealous god who created the situation in the first place. As a father I find the idea of a kind, loving god who engages in severe cruelty to be an absurd concept. In other words; I would never break my childrens bodies just to test them to see if they would still love me and praise my name.

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