Why I “deconverted”?

There are probably are number of reasons, that taken all together turned me away from Christianity and pretty-well all other religions.

Consider the following:

1. The idea of “eternal punishment”. If an extremely bad person (eg Hitler, Stalin or Genghis Khan) were to be punished and therefore doomed to suffer a million years of excruciating pain for each second of each person whom they caused the death of, this would never even come close to eternity.

Would God really punish someone “forever”? I can’t imagine a crime or sin that a human could commit that would really warrant a literal eternity of excruciating, conscious torment and pain. A God that would punish literally “forever” is a barbarian, a monster and not worthy of belief or worship.

2. The idea of “hell” and “excruciating, conscious torment” for everything from insignificant sins to major and viscous crimes.

Are we really going to be put in hell and be made experience excruciating, conscious torment for lying, cheating, coveting our neighbours goods, being unfaithful, stealing and murder?

Is the punishment really the same for lying as it is for coveting your neighbours husband and killing her to get him? If so, then this God is insane!

3. The idea of heaven. Why do we have to go through this life and not go straight to heaven? This makes no sense. Why put something like “life” as a stumbling block in the way.

Why not make us perfect and incapable of sin and then put us directly in heaven? This is just dumb!

4. The idea of faith. Why bother with faith when all God has to do is show up regularly (every week or month or year even) and say “Hi, I’m God.”

Why bother with the Bible when he could just show up and say “Here are my rules. If you don’t follow them, wow, you are really in trouble!” The idea of “faith” makes no sense at all. Just show up and there wouldn’t be any need for faith.

5. The torments of living. The Bible says that even if you think something sinful, it is as bad as actually doing it.

I don’t about anyone else (but I expect it is the same for them too) but I can’t fully control my thoughts. I have coveted my neighbours husband, I have cheated and I have done bad things in my mind like being glad someone was dead.

According to the Bible I’m doomed! This is even more insane.

If this is true then I suspect that heaven is going to be pretty well near empty because if everyone who ever had a bad thought is going to hell and not heaven then there will probably be about a handful of people in heaven.

6. The personal issue. Will I really go to hell because of a genetic condition? Was there something I could have done before I was born to change it?

I have an intersex condition. I was born both sexes. Am I really to be damned to hell fire because my chromosomes were mixed up?

What type of maniac God would make an hermaphrodite and then punish her for being an hermaphrodite?

These are my reasons for dumping the Christian belief and any other religious belief.

In summary, all things considered I am not sure that God does not exist.

Indeed, I think I would like it that God did exist and that there was an afterlife – apart from reasons like “not ceasing to exist”, I think I’d like to ask “What were you thinking?”

What was the point of all this? I think I’d simply like to know.

WGC, 2nd of October 2004.

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