Although I am primarily an ex-christian, my spiritual path has meandered through neo-paganism, wicca, Hinduism and atheism. I was once all of these,but now I'm none of these.

I was raised a strict Catholic ( with all its ritualistic downfalls. My innate stubborness gave birth to reactionism - and I turned to protestant Holy-spirit filled Pentecostalism for my emotional release. But along with being a Fundamentalist came the bible verses shoved down my throat. And it didn't take long for me to see through the myths of the 'Holy Bible.' I saw how the christians and Jews had simply ripped off earlier Babylonian and ancient Egyptian astro-theology to create the syncretic mythos of modern-day Xianity.

Alas, it was all a farce, and besides, I soon tired of the fake drama of the evangelicals, and became more introspective...hence my fascination with all things occultic and New Agey. I spent approximately 10 years trying to understand 'karma' and remembering my past lives, until I realized this movement was even more deceptive and harmful than the Fundies were.

So, once again, I rebelled and turned to genuine Eastern religion. I thought I'd finally hit the Jackpot with Nirvana and Zen Philisophy. Until I realized how very 'unreligious' and downright anti-spiritual and existentislist those philiosophies really are...which lead me back to square one: agnosticism.

Now I feel I've come full circle, a sort of Around-The-World of religious beliefs. And honestly, I am truly grateful for it. Because now I have a broad understanding of many spiritual beliefs, and perhaps what motivates people to believe what they do. I'm now a very tolerant person.

So what are my beliefs now ? Do I even believe in God ? That's a verystrange question to answer, because in many ways I feel I've even 'outgrown'the need for any spritiual beliefs at all.

No, I really don't believe in any God (personal, panthestic, or otherwise.) And I am now the happiest I've ever been. Ironic ?? Probably.I try to enjoy life, am not afraid of death, I genuflect to no Diety andpray to no unseen force for anything. And my 'morality' is just as simple:I think it was Ralph Waldo Emerson who said, 'When I do good, I feel good. When I do bad, I feel bad. That's my religion.' Say Amen!

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