I was introduced to Christianity when I was wee 15 or 16 years old. I met a girl who was very religious, and she asked if I would start going to church with her. She attended a small Church of Christ on a regular basis (a real holy rolling establishment). So I agreed, and after about six months of attending with her every Sunday and Wednesday night, I was posessed by the insanity spirit, and I decided I wanted to be baptized. I've always been a spiritual person, seeking a higher purpose in life, and Christianity made a lot of great promises.

However, it wasn't until I was married and had a couple of kids that I really started getting involved in Christianity. My wife and I found an Episcopalean church that we really liked, and it wasn't long before we were very involved. My wife taught Sunday school, and I was a member of several, various groups.

What I liked most about the Episcopal Church was the ceremony involved in the services. Lots of pomp and circumstance. Somehow, it made me feel like what I was doing was very holy, indeed.

What I realized almost immediately, though, was how unnatural it all felt. I think at first I just wrote it off by telling myself, "Of course it feels unnatural, you've spent all your life as a SINNER!!" But after about a year of going to church every single Sunday morning, I realized, "No, this really is unnatural."

I struggled with trying to do "what Jesus would do". I couldn't stop hating my jerk neighbor. I couldn't stop lusting over Angelina Jolie. I enjoyed getting rip-snortin' drunk on occassion. I liked my "sin". My "sin" helped shape the person I am today (and I turned out pretty darned good, I must say). I didn't want to lose half of my personality, just because some book said it was wrong.

And then (I remember this well)... I woke up one morning. I was lying in bed, and it dawned on me. "I DON'T HAVE TO BE CHRISTIAN!!! AND YA KNOW WHAT? I THINK THAT WOULD BE OKAY!!" And it was hard at first. I had to consider the possibility that Christianity was NOT the only way to God as it claimed. But it was like a pile of bricks lifted off of my shoulders and chest. I realized that it's okay for me to be the person I am.

I've researched several different religions, and I have not really landed on one in particular. I'm enjoying the search very much, however. And I haven't regretted a single day without Christianity.

Details