All I can say is that ever since 9/11, and especially now that Hurricane Katrina has hit, I am baffled that a loving god who is in control of everything would allow so much death and destruction. The work of the devil?? Nonsense. If I can no longer believe in the Christian god, I can also no longer believe in the devil as well.

I've chosen to believe in myself. Refusing to remain a Christian doesn't mean that I'm not gonna be a good person. It'll only keep me more focused on how to be who I am. With Christianity, you are not yourself. You are "god's property", destined for depression, constant anxiety, test after test, etc.

Ask any preacher out there as to why god would allow so much death and destruction, and they will never have an answer. Some of them may sound like they know what they're talking about because they are fast talkers. In all honestly, they're just as lost as anybody else. I've heard all the constant scapegoats. One of them is called "free will". Well, this time with hurricane Katrina, that excuse simply cannot be used.

Is there something else out there that we don't know about? Some kind of spiritual force holding us together? Perhaps. Do I have a clue as to what that force is? Not any more than anybody else on this earth. I can only hope that someone or something is looking out for us.

So why did I deconvert? Well, I've already stated that for the most part. I have many other reasons. One book really helped me see the truth. I highly recommend it. It's called "The Christ Conspiracy" by Acharya S. It is truthful in every aspect. I would only recommend it to anybody who wants to free their mind and think for themselves for a change.

I wish I could tell you that I am simply someone who is confused or disgusted that god is causing all the turmoil in the world. Or that everything happens for a reason. But I cannot. I am thinking clearer than I ever have. I thought becoming a Christian was the best thing to ever happen to me. I was wrong. Freeing myself from the mythology and concentrating on this world instead of being controlled by a mind altering, genocidal religion that has too many faults to mention here, was the best thing.

Don't get me wrong. Christianity brings out many good things in people. However, I cannot live a lie. I will remain a good person and try to make this world a better place. I truly believe that everyone should love one another. Perhaps the recent tragedy will bring the world together. There are too many conflicts in the world over different gods and religions. It's time for everyone in the world to realize that we are all the same inside. It's time to start the healing by believing in ourselves and each other. Put aside all our disagreements about a god you have to die for to see. Stop not worrying about this world because god will take care of things. Don't neglect this world just because you may think you're only passing through. With Christianity, you have to die before you reach paradise. Nonsense. We can make this world our paradise. We all just have to work together. There is hope in a hopeless world. It doesn't involve god's grace. It involves each and everyone of us to push aside hate, and return to love.

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