I was raised as a child in the Lutheran Church. I don't really have any bad stories or feelings about that upbringing, just big time boredom. I always felt that going to church and all the pomp and circumstance was a big waste of time. I attended the Pentecostal church when I left home and joined the military. I could never understand the hands waving in the air, and the constant uttering, "Praise Jesus" during every sentence spoken. It was like this, "I just had a huge bowel movement, praise jesus, and I know that it was gods will to heal my constipation, praise jesus. No, it was fucking Metamucil that unclogged your tailpipe. I would sit in the Pentacostal church listening to the mass conformity and wonder why I couldnt feel "the spirit." I honestly tried. I prayed. I studied my bible. I witnessed for jesus telling people what I thought I should be saying, but deep down I didnt "feel" like some great transformation had taken place in my life. I was simply repressing what I wanted to say, think or do. I still wanted to have a cocktail with my meals, I still wanted to watch a R rated movie once in a while, I just pretended to be converted to the onlookers in the congregation to conform and be accepted as "saved." Its all about control and conformity. Guilt is used to break your spirit if you have a strong personality. Others are broken by lifes circumstances that drive them to the church in search of lifes answers. I dont have any ill will toward christians. I am not angry with any church I attended. I know that there are people who truly believe and find solace in attending church. I don't disbelieve in a higher power than humans, I just distrust religion. The majority of human beings are intellectually lazy, and not very smart. It is easier to give your life to an unseen force that will take care of you and do all the hard thinking for you. Religion is the fence, shock collar, ring in the nose, that most people need to keep them from destroying themselves and others. Isnt it ironic that the forbidden fruit in Genesis was from the "tree of knowledge?" I guess god wants us stupid, docile, and fearful of knowledge. My question is, why were we "created" with the desire to learn and explore if we arent supposed to use it? Religion is simply a creation of the smarter people in society to control the dumber masses and keep them from questioning their earthly masters. "You better work hard, pay taxes, and not question anything otherwise when you die, you will burn in hell." I have no idea what awaits us upon death. The fundys will simply state that I am going to burn in eternal hellfire. Sounds about right. I was born into a violent, imperfect world, charged with "original sins" I never committed, told if I don't accept a free gift of salvation to atone for all these sins, I will go to hell, and pretty much everything that is fun, or exciting is either a sin or illegal. Wow! and all of this was created by a "Perfect God?" Im not a god, but I think if I were going to create a world, I would put a little more thought into designing the people I was going to populate it with. If I wanted ignorant, fearful subjects groveling at my feet, I sure as hell would not have given them any type of thinking process above the rudimentary. Talk about crazy. Thats like punishing my dog for barking, chewing bones, eating dog food, chasing cats, retrieving a thrown ball, or anything else the dog is naturally wired to do. I guess in the mind of the religious, we were all created to spend our life overcoming and denying human urges that were programmed into us by our perfect god. How can any intelligent, critical thinker figure all this nonsense out? I know there is a higher power that created our existence. I dont know who or what it is. I cant however buy into the religions of the world that teach conformity, repression, and ignorance as a means to eternal life.

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