It all started Sept. 11. I had grown up Catholic and hadn't gone to church in years. I had always thought about what would happen if I died, but just kinda forgot about it. After Sept. 11, I realized what a horror life can be.

I studied and read The Left Behind series and within a few months I was "saved". I went to church, joined a group, and became a leader for women's bible study within a year. I thought I was happy. Sure, life was a struggle, constantly staying close to God, making sure I pray at appropriate times, etc. However, it seemed that it was better than the life I had before.

After moving away from my church, I found it was quite hard to "stay close to God" without them. I fell into depression and couldn't understand why God wouldn't help me. I tried praying all the time, reading the Bible. At times, because of my depression, I couldn't understand what I was even reading. I was also in college and it was making it hard for me to keep my grades up. I was also learning about sociology and other cultures and it got me thinking a lot. We do things as Christians because we think we should and everybody else does it. However, that is what the bible says not to do, yet they have their own brainwashing. So after studying, the other history of the bible, the other gospels that are not in the bible, and sociology, I realized that being depressed because of God when God isn't even responding AND the fact that the christians are too close minded.

So now, I believe in humanitarism, and having a progressive society. I also think a lot of things depend on soliology, your experiences, and where you are in life. I guess that is kinda my new religion, relativism.

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