I was raised as a southern baptist - an unquestioningly fundamental religion. As I think back on the experience as a child, I don't resent my parents for raising me this way; it was all they knew, and they were acting in good-"faith"

southern baptists are known for the "invitations" that conclude their religious services. it is an appeal to acknowledge the existence of a personal god and its embodiment in jesus. i yielded to one of these appeals as a child; but as i think about it now, it was a submission to fear. i was deeply afraid of hell as presented by the preachers. it sounded awful; and i wanted no part of it. Freud posited that religion has its origins in man's fear of death. we don't want to die; and if, as it seems, we all have to die, we hope that there is an escape clause - "yes, your body dies, but your soul - that mysterious life force - lives on."

Bertrand Russell was also right in his remarks that emotion played a crucial role in determining religious belief. it was true for me. music was a major part of what i actually liked about religious services, but it was an emotional connection to the music, but not the content.

my interest in religion has waxed and waned as an adult - mostly waned. for some it can be soothing; but i hope i've gotten better at emotional self-soothing at this stage of life.

finally, my career is heavily involved in the sciences. progress is largely predicated on rational understanding. if i train that same lens on religious belief, it doesn't make sense.

i want to make the most of the brief life i have, because when it's over; it's over. religion is the sedative that makes people devalue what they experience in the moment. people - this is it.

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