Like many people, I grew up in a Catholic family. We were never "hardcore" religious. But we went to church every weekend and attended the local Catholic grade school. I then went on to high school at Holy Name Seminary in Madison, WI. In my senior year of high school, I got involved in TEC (Together Encountering Christ) retreats. Everything was perfect....

I attended college at the Milwaukee School of Engineering. Studying for a degree in Computer Engineering. This was the first time I attended a non-Catholic school. Not that that is what caused me to leave. I still had the TEC retreats every few months. And I eventually began singing in my church's choir. So I still had plenty of religious activities.

I guess it started when I was thinking "what would I say if someone asked me why I believed what I believed." Seemed an innocent enough question. I wanted to be able to stand up and say This Is What I Believe! The thing is the only real answer I had was because that's what I was brought up believing. Had I been brought up Buddhist, I probably would have believed that just the same. So why did I believe?

Then the BIG question popped in my head.... o O (What if there isn't a God?) I remember my answer to that was "Don't be stupid. That can't be." Well, the question was suppressed for a while. But it eventually came back. The question started coming up more often and each time it seemed less "stupid". Then it finally hit me.... I don't believe in God. It was a little scary the first time I said it to myself. But it was true. Sure, I could try and tell myself it wasn't. But I never was a very good liar.

I've heard people say, "Well what if you're wrong and God does exist? Do you want to spend eternity in Hell?" My view is that if God does exist, and he is the loving God that I was always told, he would understand what I was thinking and why I felt the way I did. I can't imagine a God who knows all would put one person in hell and one in heaven based solely on whether or not they believed. Ignoring how they lived their life. So I'm just going to live my life as best I can and make it the best I can for others. Not because God says I should, but because that's what I believe is right.

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