I had a typical Catholic upbringing that formed the foundation of religious belief into my early 20's. I won't recount the details of my childhood, or the extent of my indoctrination, but let's just say that I would independently study the bible and seriously considered furthering my life in a religious way (either as a priest or brother).

What woke me up most was a book I read that highlighted the psychological dimension to religious belief; also at the time I was attending university and coming into contact with many people for whom religious belief was at most a curiosity but more likely an irrelevance. My sheltered school life had only exposed me to like-minded individuals and now I had to think. I don't recall the exact details in the book but it poked a few major holes in the christianity argument that were just not reconcilable for me:

• SUFFERING - the population of the Earth is roughly 6 billion - India/China are nearly half of that total and are predominately non-christian (not to mention other countries in Eastern Europe and south East Asia which ar non-christian) - I don't know what proportion of the world is Catholic (or even Christian) but to be overly generous and let's say half. So what the Cathloics would have you beleive is that a loving God created 3 billion people knowing that they would spend an ETERNITY suffering - an ETERNITY!! That makes '25 to life' look pretty tame!! What would be their crime anyway? - that they didn't beleive in him? and didn't worship him? Is He that insecure?? Wouldn't He be big enough not to need to create people and then demand that they worship Him on threat of ETERNAL damnation? This line of criticism was really the killer for me - I can't get past a pointlessly cruel, insecure, petty GOD - 3 billion real people!! and as that's just the current generation!! not future or



• GOOD/EVIL BALANCE - the theme of the bible is that the good will triumph in the end (even if that is in the next life). Nice sentiment which falls away if there is no after life!! Maybe some 'evil' people don't get their just desserts; the pimps and drug dealers may just be making huge amounts of money, living the high life and having a good time!! No downside. Realising that there is no guaranteed equilibrium is very confronting for a Catholic.



• Fear OF MORTALITY - since humans have becoe self - aware they have struggled with motality; the current relgions are just a longstanding history of humans trying to comes to terms with death.-



• MIXED MESSAGES - the problem confronting many is that the religion contains many 'warm and fuzzy' sentiments - "love thy neighbour" -that are mixed with very destructive ideas - self worthlessness, sinfulness, weakness, sinfulness of sexual desire outside marriage etc - as well as being bigotted towards groups such as homosexuals (another group damned for ETERNITY). This mixing of ideas keeps people in.

When I was confronting the lie that is the Catholic religion it was very confronting and painful - and I think only those going form ultra relgious to atheist would know the pain associated withi this transition. What it now most represents for me is wasted time and opportunties - people I could have been closer to but wasn't because of religion. I am now free from that belief system.

What a waste - it is good that society is moving towards a more tolerant position and secular position.

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