I would have loved to have come across this site 15 yrs ago!

I come from a non-christian, now affirmed agnostic/atheistic family. My Grand mother was a christian and gave me the CS Lewis Narnia books. I had an idea that the books had some kind of God related message that they were trying to get through. At the end of the books, I said something like "Well God if you were anything like Aslan (the lion/ main protagonist) in the stories I would believe in you and Love you forever". Suddenly into my conscience came the following "I am Aslan". It took some seconds of computation and suddenly I was swept up into what I can only descibe as an encounter of Love. After about quarter of an hour I went down stairs. My mum was in the Kitchen and I said something like "God is real-hes been in my room!" Mum said something like "Thats nice!".

Of course teenage years - the last thing you want to be, is a church goer especially as everyone at the Christmas services (with utmost respect) seemed pretty lifeless! As there was no such a thing as a happy,enthusiastic church goer, my experience can't have had anything to do with Christianity and left it at that.

Twinned with this I have never needed to follow any line for the sake of being part of any group. (This is probably because my years 5-9 with the family was spent moving around in a caravan.Great time!)

I was therefore happy to talk, listen and be with anyone atheist/Hindu/Bhuddist/Christian/Muslim/beer drinker/no religion - still am!

After a year out - back packing by myself around the World -University had to be attended.1St week Free lunches advertised by the Christian Union.The Baptist group got me! No!!. Nice bunch of people- 'I'll come along to their church for the free tea and cakes afterwards'. Well these people are a lot closer to what I imagined people would be if they had had a similar experience to what I had when I was 11. Still - they were a bit theoretical and slightly too clean shaven in approach for me, and was there really more life than theology being acted out? After three years my answer was no!

Time to get away. I could identify that, in christian speak, my experience at 11 would have been the Holy Spirit if indeed it was a christian experience? Logically however it should be available by whatever route- Get out the Baghavad Gita, that a lovely Hindu woman had given me at Los Angeles airport. 6 months - come on Harri sock it to me!

Right - lets get away from Religion and God altogether. 1 year later I've got a check mate move on God. "Look- lets get real here- I've loved. I've known Love. Its filled my whole body and soul (another story for another day). My experience of your Love doesn't even come close. Its up to you, either you match up or we depart our separate ways" Response "I AM that LOVE - I AM LOVE". "What? you're saying you ARE LOVE - no way!" "I AM LOVE". Computation time - LOVE as a person, with character and opinions,God!-Accept that??! I imagine most people wouldn't- I did. Take my experience at 11 multiply by 100 for 24hrs, and you've got an absolute nutter walking about town with tears of Love for every-one that walks past. They're thinking 'whats he on?'. 24 hours later - come on God, let go, you're burning me up,my hands are on fire, and I'm going to be absolutely nackered after this!

Deserts (not desserts)have since been passed through, but this experience of burning Love (except not to the original intensity), is now pretty well available 24 hours a day if I choose. Yes -I now read the Bible and yes I worship Jesus, without which I can't retain the continuity of this amazing experience. (I've triple checked all other ways - except drugs!)Yes I go to church, I don't clap,dance, lift my hands in the air and I rarely sing. I just 'let' this amazing experience of Love, which really 'aint nothin' to do with me.

Having said this when I'm not choosing to be in this 'zone' my wife tells me I've got a tendency to revert to being a cranky old Fart. No-one on the 'outside' believes her - but shes right!

In the end - I havn't made it away. It seems -from all the exchristian stories- that it would have helped if I had been put under pressure by Christian parents, close Christian Friends,church,or 'what would they think' but I had none of these, and the church I'm at now, is far from pushy.

For me God is far more than just God - Even though he existed I wouldn't follow him except that 1) GOD IS LOVE (1jn4v16)and 2) I am able to have that proved within my own experience (not very reliant on faith me!)

I will definately try to learn from all these stories how not to treat my kids, christians and people of other view points.

I can understand if you don't put this on your site, as I failed in my endeavours to become an exchristian.I now really don't want to give up this deep well being thats been growing the last 15 years. The only possibility is a massive crisis, but I can't see it beating what I've already gone through (again another story) I do wish every one the very best on their journey.

Robert

Yeah - tricky call as to whether to include this one or not. I don't feel obliged to accept it - it's my site after all. I have been inconsistent with this in the past, but usually I mainly exclude people who just send me proselytising stuff. Anyway, IMO this person is a deist. Make of it what you will.

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