well, basically, i have bipolar disorder, and i was in a psych facility, and most of the staff were born-again christians. at this time i was asatru and had been practicing for five and a half years. i will not name the facility because i don't want to get sued or any of that crap. so anyway, i was not allowed to have my freyja statue or runes or anything, even though another resident was allowed to have a fragile crucifix.

to make a long story short, i was bullied into "receiving christ as my savior and lord" and "renouncing my occult activities" because after having something hammered (pardon the pun) into your head ten million times a day every day you start to believe it. i then proceeded to throw away all the books, tarot cards, and other magickal items i had accumulated. (thank the gods that i still have stuff at where i live now, with my mom, like my freyja statue, and my runes.) this was over $1000 worth of stuff!

everyone thought i changed, but in fact now i was sicker than normal because i was worrying about "saving souls", "repenting of sin", and what was going to happen when the "end times" came. on top of that, i was totally disgusted with the way the church treats women, gays, and people of other religions. you see, i am a woman, and i am bisexual, and enough said. on top of THAT, i was having a hard time shutting down my psychic abilities, because as odin has told me, i am a "walker between worlds". i have been attuned to spiritual stuff since i was very, very small.

on christmas day i had a dream of freyja and freyr asking me to come back to them. i decided to take them up on it. i have not looked back since. i am performing my rededication ceremony to the gods on december 31st (tomorrow), and i am happy about it.

i feel hopeful about my future for the first time in my life and with the help of the gods i think i just might be able to make something of myself. if i had remained a christian, i probably would have overdosed on my psych meds by now, which is another thing about christianity -- they don't accept mentally ill people, they think we're "demonized". odin says differently. he accepts us because he is a different sort of god himself.

that's all, really. hail to the aesir! hail asynjur! hail the much-giving earth!

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