My family is devout Roman Catholic, but for some reason as far back as I can remember I never felt like I belonged. Even as young as four years old I felt like a Witch. I even told my parents at one time that I was going to be a Witch when I grew up. They mocked me and told me that there was no such thing as good witches, they were all evil.

Despite being the first female cross bearer at my church and being a so called communtiy leader and cantor, I felt lost. I despised going to mass. It seemed pointless and a waste of time. Because my parents are so influential in the Church I felt as though I had no choice. In my senior year in high school I became depressed. I protested that women should be priests, and that I wanted the opportunity to be one. I was told I was delusion, disturbed and needed prayers and reflection time. These were not doctrines that I was supposed to be questioning. I ended up being confirmed becuase of my parents. My sponsor cried as I was blessed with oil. I could have cared less, except that I thought my rights were being violated. I was lucky, in retrospect, that my depression didn't become truly clincial or life-long

It wasn't until I managed to leave the state that I finally had enough courage to stop going to Church. I've never really looked back. I've embraced my 'witchyness' (no I'm not a Wiccan) and been more at peace then ever, despite a painful handicap that befell me (while I was still a practicing Catholic ironically)

My family still doesn't know. I have a Goddaughter, a little girl who thinks I'm the most important person in her 11 year old life. And unfortunately to declare my faith to my family and free my self completly would mean that I would be barred from seeing her again. And I'm all she's got. Strange how much of a role Christianity plays in enslaving people - when it's supposed to be freeing souls.

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