I was indoctrinated from the time I was born, and it's taken me years to "deprogram" myself. Growing up, I always thought there was something wrong with me because my faith wasn't as strong -- nor I as unquestioning -- as the adults I looked up to (my parents especially). It's taken me a long time to realize that there's nothing wrong with me, that Christianity is essentially a tool to control people and keep them subserviant to those in power.

Early on in my deconversion, I often wondered if I was throwing the baby out with the bathwater; many people are inspired by their faith, after all. But inspiration can be found in many places, and the baby in this case is the source of much confusion, anguish, waste, and bloodshed. And really, how sick is it to venerate some poor schlub nailed to a cross? What kind of inspiration is that?

I've finally come to acknowledge what I've suspected all along: that life is an awesome, chaotic mystery that can't be defined by religion. To try to do so is to deny life's quirky, complicated beauty. And that's the most foul sin of all.

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