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Your mission, should you choose to accept it - to push the
PWABI (person with acquired brain injury in case you forgot)
out of the main hatch and show him how to Space Walk. We
don't want to be doing this too soon in his recovery process
(otherwise we could see him float off into deep space, never
to be seen again). On the otherhand, we don't want to be
namby pamby and end up having to call in reinforcements
to accomplish the task. |
We're
talking about getting this person back into circulation - whether
that means helping around the house, going back to employment
of some kind, volunteering their time to a local school, church
or social group, or simply venturing outdoors by themselves and
popping down to the local shop for a paper. Whatever the goal,
it's all going to take time, patience and a lot of effort from
you as the commander of this mission.
We're going to be Mission Control and point out the asteroid zones,
alien life forms and curly comets you just might be meeting along
the way. So, don this protective space suit and helmet, adjust
your temperature control and step into the ABI shuttle (mark IV)
.... oh, and watch that first step - it's a doozy!
baby.baby
It's easy to treat
a brain-injured person as a complete invalid however it won't
help their chances of recovery if you don't give them some stars
to reach out and grab. Their realisation that you actually expect
something of them gives them a solid grounding for the future.
Now, this may be as trivial as washing dishes, or as important
as making them responsible for arranging an appointment. Whatever,
it's the fact that you BELIEVE they can do it, even if a little
help is required.
Monitor progress and extend the boundaries every so often, give
them more to do as they are able to cope. Not only does the
PWABI gain a real sense of purpose, but they may also be aware
that they are helping take some of the burden off you, the carer
- doubling their self-worth, being a part of 'the team' again,
and scoring Brownie points.
toeing.the.line
On the other spaceboot, it's a fine line to be tread
between letting them go and reining them in .... feed out too
much slack and a tangle will result, not enough and they won't
want to venture out at all. It's a matter of charting a course
into unknown starfields - to boldly go where .... yada yada
yada.
Don't treat the PWABI as children, but do use some of the same
rules of parenting that apply to children, because a carer's
role is often parental. Develop expectations, yes, but also
set down behavioural guidelines so that it is easier for both
you and the PWABI to know when the lines have been crossed.
This can relate to something as basic as fatigue, which is a
major factor in ABI. But sticking to the rules can be hard.
Typical conversation ...
"You're tired aren't you?"
"No, I'm not - what's that got to do with
anything?"
"I can see you're tired - have you had
a nap today?"
"Yes, I have. I'm not tired"
"I don't think you did, did you? - you're
not acting rationally"
"I didn't need a sleep - I'm fine"
"But you're tired now - you're not coping
very well"
"I tell you I'm not tired"
"Okay, okay. Where are you going now?"
"To have a sleep, I'm tired"
confidence.trickster
Aarrggh! See, part of the problem with the brain
is that it is very good at fooling it's owner into thinking
that nothing's wrong. This can be helpful in that it gives them
more confidence, but can also be detrimental in that it becomes
difficult for them to see situations clearly. When they are
scheduled for an afternoon nap, they think they don't feel too
bad and so can get by without, just for today.
Trouble is, today easily becomes tomorrow and the next day as
well, and pretty soon your carefully laid out schedule is all
over the place ... this is where you get to play policeman and
be the big bad ogre who has to lay down the law again. Like
Uncle Bob's sheep dog, you gotta snap at the Pwabi's heels and
guide him back onto the track.
take.the.flack.jack
You'll cop the flack of course, and it's hard to
take, but point out to the wayward one that he has to take some
responsibility for his own recovery. That he has to give himself
the best chance he can, and that he has to try to make life
bearable for those around him. If he's Mr Cranky Pants just
'cos he didn't have his nap, or medication, or therapy or whatever,
then he's not a pleasant fellow to be with.
He'll usually come round and agree with you - but be warned
: this will happen over and over again until you are sick to
death of it, and feel like Granma Gerties gramaphone, going
on and on and on. Sorry, but no use glossing over the facts,
hey?
alone.at.last
And what do you do when
they finally push off to noddy-land? Tote that barge, lift that
bale? No way, uh uh, forget it ... this is YOUR free time and
you can do what you like with it. Read a book, hop on the net,
play some games. Whatever - make the most of the fact that for
a short time you are on your own - yippeee! (Ahhhh, now we know
why ReTroGrrl makes ReTroMan take so many naps ... )
Next time we'll talk
about a scary thing - EPILEPSY and medication management, and what to
do should your PWABI experience seizures caused by ABI. But don't worry,
ReTroGrrl will be here to hold your astroglove.
Stay tuned to this frequency for more
transmissions ...
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