Duty and Honour First

I don't like him.

Call it a military man's distrust of politicians and diplomats…but I don't like him.

No, I'm not jealous. Envious, perhaps - there's no doubting she's one of the most beautiful, charismatic women I've ever had the pleasure of working with, but I'm not jealous of him.

I just don't like him.

Teal'c doesn't like him either. I've become pretty good at deciphering our Jaffa's expressions lately, and while I don't know if there's an equivalent Jaffa idiom for "I've got your number, young man, so don't try any funny business!", I'd imagine that was more or less what the big man was thinking the other night when Joe came to pick Sam up from my house.

And while Daniel reserves judgment on Joe Faxon, probably pending how Sam ends up feeling about him, I suspect that Daniel doesn't really like Joe either.

I kinda hope the ambassador doesn't notice. Don't want him to get the idea that all the SG-1 guys don't like him.

Joe Faxon is a handsome, well-educated, well-spoken, thirty-something whose diplomatic gifts are extremely useful in negotiations with the civilisations we meet through the Stargate. His sense of humour isn't bad, and his conversation is interesting enough. He's good at what he does.

But I don't like him.

I guess it's mostly that I see him as an intruder.

Mind you, I'm not in a position to throw stones at Faxon.

After all, when I was first assigned to SG-1 on a permanent basis, I'm pretty sure they looked on me as an intruder. I - Captain Jarrod Peyton - was the best match the SGC had for the personality profiles of SG-1 - and that wasn't saying much. The rest of the personnel floating between SG-teams were either too-straight military types who lived and breathed the rules, or scientist-types who couldn't buy a litre of milk without two pages of instructions. They needed someone with, and I quote the General here, 'latitude'. I guess I was the only rogue 'gater they had who wasn't on a regular team.

Four months later, I'm accepted as a member of SG-1 and operate as part of the team under the command of Major Carter. But it's been a long time coming. We don't do a bad job, but we don't have quite the same flair that SG-1 was known for in the 'old days'.

We're not as chummy as they used to be, either, but then, they're not as chummy with each other anymore since the Colonel vanished.

Daniel's officially dating young Lieutenant Vaillant, and Teal'c and Dr. Fraiser seem to be spending a lot of time with each other, although Teal'c keeps saying they're 'just friends'. I've met a divorcee about my own age down the street who enjoys watching me watch the football, and I enjoy watching her watch the hockey, so we spend our afternoons together. And now the Major is seeing Joe Faxon.

As we trot down the ramp, another successful SG-1 mission accomplished, Major Carter smiles at me from under the hood of her raincoat. I didn't know her very well prior to joining the team, but Daniel tells me command position agrees with her. Something in the way Teal'c and Dr. Jackson occasionally respond to her commands makes me think that there's a little bit of Jack O'Neill in her style - but that's no surprise. After five years of being the 2IC of a man with a personality as charismatic as Colonel O'Neill's, some of his manner is bound to rub off.

Wish we knew what happened to him.

"Welcome back, SG-1," the General greets us as he comes into the gateroom. "Major Carter, I take it that SG-17 is safely ensconced on P9C-115?"

"Yes, sir. We managed to get all the delicate equipment undercover before the rain began, and Professor Gollity and SG-17 were happily taking seismic readings when the sky began falling." She grimaces as she pushes the hood of the khaki raincoat back and shakes her hair out.

"Excellent. Get your team through post-gate, Major, the debriefing will be at 1700 hours."

We begin to make our way out of the gateroom.

"I believe Lieutenant Vaillant has stayed behind to wait for your return, DanielJackson." Teal'c indicates the control room window, where Helena's expressive dark face looks down. Daniel tips her a mock-salute, and she grins.

"Girlfriend later, Daniel," I tell him cheekily, almost at the door of the gateroom. "Post-gate and debriefing first."

The blue eyes mock-glare at me from behind the glasses. "Jarrod, it's been four days since I've seen her and I'm not even allowed a wave?"

"Duty and honour first, Dr. Jackson. Duty and honour first." I'm smiling beyond Daniel, to Teal'c and Major Carter, expecting them to smile back.

Instead something shutters in the Major's eyes, and she looks down and murmurs, "Might as well get the post-gate over with." Then she walks right past me and up the corridor to the lifts that will take her to the infirmary.

I look back at my team-mates and see their compassionate expressions. Daniel sees my question and just says, "We'll explain in the locker room."

Post-gate goes off without a hitch, although the Doc recommends a long hot shower for each of us - the raincoats did a valiant job of attempting to protect us from the downpour, but they'd been in storage for a while and were a little loose at the seams. She doesn't need to emphasise the hot shower, by the time we get out of the infirmary, we're all on the chilly side.

Just outside, we run into the Ambassador himself. "Hey guys, is Sam around?"

It's nice to see you, too, Ambassador. I let Daniel lead on this one. Down-to-earth diplomacy is Dr. Jackson's forte, none of this kiss-ass stuff that Faxon does.

"She's probably having a long hot shower, Joe," the archaeologist says in his politely diffident manner. "I'd suggest waiting in her office. She'll be there sooner or later."

"Right, thanks." And off he walks. As far as Joe Faxon is concerned, kissing ass is something that only needs to be done when the big brass are around. He's polite to us, but he doesn't manage friendly real well. Which should worry him since Daniel and Teal'c are the brothers who keep a watchful eye on Major Carter, and I… well, I guess I'm a relative or something. Not so close as those two, but still coming under the general umbrella of 'family'.

We wait until we're sure he's gone into the lifts up to the office levels, before we move slowly on to the locker rooms. "I don't understand what Sam sees in him," I mutter.

"He is not an unlikeable man, CaptainPeyton" Teal'c states.

"But you don't like him either." I point out.

"No."

"Well, I'm not planning to go anywhere tonight," Daniel says as Sam comes around the corner. Quick thinking, Dr. Jackson! "Home to my nice warm bed…"

"…and your nice warm girlfriend," I add, assisting the change of topic as she comes down the corridor towards us. She looks refreshed, if still damp-haired, and a little red-eyed.

"You can talk, Jarrod," she addresses me, wryly. "Or didn't I see Meredith walking home early Friday morning?"

"What were you doing in my neighbourhood Friday morning?"

"Dropping off some books to Janet who lives four streets over from you. Cassie wanted them for a school project."

"Busted!" Daniel crows, grinning away. "Caught in the act."

I flush. The things Meri and I were involved in doing on Thursday night are not the kind of acts you want to get caught in, and we'll just leave it at that.

"Oh yeah, Sam," Daniel adds, "Joe's looking for you - he's probably in your office."

"Thanks, Daniel." She walks by, then turns on her heels with a little skip and calls: "Debriefing at 1700 hours, guys."

We're in the locker room before Daniel grimaces, "I guess he is good for her. I haven't seen her perform that little skip-step since…" He pauses.

"…since before we lost O'Neill."

"You didn't lose him," I tell them irritably, flipping the sign on the locker room door and shutting it behind us.

They enjoy doing this to themselves - all three of them. They convince themselves that they, somehow, dropped Colonel O'Neill off the edge of P2N-995, never to be seen again. The way they talk about it, you'd think they deliberately took him into the deepest darkest woods they could find, dropped him down a well, put a coverstone over the top and then walked away whistling.

"It was not an active act on your part, guys, so it would be nice if you would stop the blame game." I'm only too glad to pull off boots and fatigues, and change the topic. "Now, Daniel. Please explain why the phrase 'duty and honour first' produced such a dramatic reaction in Sam."

Teal'c and Daniel exchange looks. "Sit down, Jarrod. This'll take a bit of time."

I glue my butt to the seat, and Daniel begins explaining, with Teal'c's occasional elaboration. I just sit there and listen.

"…but Colonel O'Neill and MajorCarter always behaved with complete propriety."

"But the potential for more was there."

"Yes." Daniel sighs a little as he unlaces his boots.

"'Duty and honour first'," I murmur, understanding at last. There were always rumours, of course, but everyone knows that 99% of rumour is false and the last 1% is a half-truth. If there really had been anything between them, General Hammond would have split them up rather than risk all of his best SG-team. So I believed.

There was something between them.

But duty and honour came first, until there was no more time for anything.

"Me and my big mouth."

"You couldn't have guessed, Jarrod."

"Maybe not. But I still made her feel bad."

"Yeah, well if you apologise, you'll probably just make her feel worse," Daniel tells me.

"Thank you for the cheering thought, Dr. Jackson. You're telling me I've done something wrong, but I can't even put it right?"

"Not without making her feel worse about it." He shrugs as he strips off his t-shirt. "Next time she's grumpy, buy her a lot of chocolate."

"I think I will." I start divesting myself of the last of my clothing and grabbing a towel. It's really cold around here. "Thanks for explaining the situation."

"It's not common knowledge."

"And I promise it'll stay that way, guys."

Under the hot water, I briefly muse over the little things that always puzzled me about the glimpsed relationship between Colonel O'Neill and Major Carter. Both the ease and the formality of their relationship, and the way they spent so much time together without an eyebrow being raised by the General or other ranking officers.

Majors Ferretti and Devlin were always adamant that there was 'nothing worth worrying about' between the Colonel and his 2IC, and if the General had an opinion on the closeness of the SG-1 officers he never voiced it.

Everyone knew that she took his disappearance hard, but so did all of SG-1. So did the General and the SGC generally. SG-1 was always an insular team, anyway. Four loners, essentially wild cards, who individually or with any other team would probably have ended up as a liability. Together, they were the winning hand for the SGC every time.

And even with a replacement card for the one that vanished on P3N-995, SG-1 still manages to win more rounds than they lose.

"…unless she's out with Joe again." Daniel's grumping about the movie night arranged for this weekend. Last time we had one, Sam opted out on us and spent the evening with Joe instead.

As the hot water runs over me, I contemplate Joe Faxon's situation. No wonder the man is edgy around us - around Daniel and Teal'c. Even if he only listens to the gossip, he's gotta know that the man who vanished left a hole in more than just SG-1. A hole he's trying to fill.

Now that I know what I do, I can feel a certain kinship to the guy, playing up to a man who is legendary in the annals of the SGC.

Before, I said I'm not jealous of Joe.

Now, come to think of it, I don't envy him either.

Jack O'Neill is a hard man to live up to.

And I only had to live up to him professionally.

*