My Heart Belongs To…

Janet laughed. Jack smirked. Teal'c raised an eyebrow. Sam snickered.

Daniel glared. Primarily at Jack, who he suspected of being the perpetrator of this...this...this humiliating scenario - but really at all his friends for finding this amusing.

It was one of those theatre restaurants - the ones with a stage and performers who would sometimes go into the audience and pluck out hapless diners to interact with. Fine, no problem. Beautiful food, delightful wine, great company.

It was a great birthday dinner.

Except that halfway through the night, the Marilyn impersonator had slinked ('slunk' didn't seem like the right kind of word to use for a Marilyn impersonator) out on stage, and breathily declared over the microphone, "This one's for the birthday boy, Daniel Jackson."

Daniel's head had jerked up from where he was polishing his glasses the better to view the stage. *Oh. No.*

"While tearing off a game of golf,  I may make a play for the caddy,  But when I do, I don't follow through,  cause my heart belongs to Danny!"

It had all the hallmarks of one of Jack's pranks. Public. Humiliating. Embarrassing. And howlingly funny for anyone who wasn't the victim.

And the rhyming was pretty awful too.

Daniel hadn't yet had anything to drink, which was why he was in no mood to appreciate the attention - even if the woman in question was really rather stunning - if not necessarily a Marilyn-lookalike. He'd just wanted a quiet night out with his friends.

Instead, 'Marilyn' had descended the stairs, and was fully intent on draping herself over his lap (to which his lap had no objections, although Daniel did), and purring huskily into the flesh-coloured headset microphone she wore as well as Daniel's ear. (Which Daniel's lap also liked.)

He saw Sam vanish behind a quivering napkin, unable to hold her mirth in; Janet's shoulders were shaking like she had her own personal earthquake going; Teal'c was trying to retain his 'Me First Prime Jaffa' solemnity and failing miserably...and Jack's grin was broad enough to span the Grand Canyon at its widest point.

"If I invite a boy some night  To dine on my fine food and haddie,  I just adore his asking for more - But my heart belongs to Danny!"

The audience clapped. They cheered. They laughed. They roared.

And Daniel told his lap to shut up, tried to smile pleasantly at the woman (It felt like taking school photos - the horrible cheesy grin that you produced when the photographer brightly declared: 'Smile!'), hoped his cheeks weren't quite as red as the checked tablecloth and plotted revenge in his heart.

Jack was a dead man.

*