Faux Pas

Solitudes

I'm sorry about the 'sidearm', Captain.

It's kinda difficult to control bodily functions when you're in pain, frozen and lying next to a woman who smells pretty nice to a dying guy. Of course, when you're dying, anything smells and feels nice. Including your 2IC.

The regs might be there for the smooth running and good morale of a military unit, but the human body doesn't give a damn when everything hurts and you're on the verge of shutdown. It'll take what pleasant things can be found. Including a sweet set of curves on a blonde with brains.

One of the last thoughts I remember going through my mind was that when someone else next came through the Stargate and found our preserved corpses in the ice, they'd take one look at the Jaffa frozen next to the DHD and think 'You poor bastard'. Then they'd look at me, with Carter pressed up next to me and think: 'You lucky dog!'

I think my body thought that as well for a little while.

Thank God she has a sense of humour.

Apart from the 'sidearm' incident, which I remember from sheer humiliation at my body's let's-not-consult-Jack-first attitude, I have this hazy recollection of talking to Sara.

Now, my memories of everything are a little blurred, but I have an even hazier recollection of Sara talking to me.

Correct me if I'm wrong, but Sara wasn't there. So I must have dreamed it. I think. The end of our conversation doesn't even make sense for crying out loud!

"Sara…."

"I'm here, Jack."

"Cold… So cold…"

"I know. It's alright. You can sleep now." And then the bit that doesn't make sense, "It was an honour serving with you, too, Colonel."

At first I thought I dreamed Sara talking to me at the same time as Carter was saying her 'last words', but then a niggling worry appeared in my mind. I fretted over it for at least an hour before she came to visit me. 'Sidearm' or not, she checked in on me; a very thoughtful concern for her CO, that will definitely be remembered when the time comes for commendations.

She was a bit shy to begin with; apologising for not getting us out of there and not thinking of dialling another planet…yadda, yadda, yadda…

"Captain?"

"Yes, sir?"

"You did good."

"I didn't do anything, sir. Daniel…"

What is it with this woman and compliments? It's like trying to pin a medal on an eel - only harder. "You kept us alive until Daniel found us, Carter. In my opinion, that's good. Very good."

A long silence. "Uh…thank-you, sir."

The silence stretched again and I decided what the hell, I might as well take the plunge.

"Carter?"

"Yes, sir?"

"You said it was an honour to serve with me, right?"

"Uh…yes, sir."

Big question: "Did I say anything to you before that?"

She went a little pink and looked at her mittened hands, "Uh…you were speaking to your wife, sir. You thought it was cold."

"Ah. See, I remember that. Thing is, I also remember Sara talking back to me. Something about being there for me and telling me to go back to sleep."

Her cheeks went a lot pinker. "Well, you were dying…and so I thought…"

"You thought you'd make my going out a bit easier and pretend to be my wife, right?"

"Uhh…yes, sir." Her bandages were obviously very fascinating, because she wouldn't look me in the eye. "I'm sorry about that, Colonel. I…" She gave a little half-smile, "It's not exactly something that's covered in the AF handbook: 'How to make a dying CO's last moments easier.' I had to…ad-lib."

I reached out one hand and touched her arm to get her attention. "Carter."

"Sir?"

"It's okay. I wasn't going to chew you out. I was curious since most of my memories after we came through the gate are blurred."

"Oh." Was that a hint of hope in her voice? Was she hoping I don't remember the 'sidearm' incident? Her next tentative question confirmed it. "Sir, if I may ask…"

"I remember the discussion about having no regrets," I told her bluntly. "And the…bit before that." We were both blushing by then. "Chalk it up to a near-death experience, Captain. It won't happen again." My version of an apology.

She mustered her dignity, still blushing. "Thank-you, sir." Then she turned the topic of conversation elsewhere and stayed another ten minutes before she made her apologies and escaped.

Once she'd gone, I gave in to the urge that had been building in me since she revealed the details of what happened in Antarctica.

I thumped my head against the pillow, ignoring the ache that reminded me that my skull wasn't fully healed.

Peachy.

I managed to commit the two worst faux pas a man can do. And let's not even go near the whole 'regulations' thing, either!

One: I made unwanted sexual advances to Carter - or my body did, even if my brain wasn't exactly party to the action.

Two: while sleeping next to her, I called for another woman.

Way to impress the lady, O'Neill.

As I said before, thank God for a 2IC with a sense of humour.

I guess she won't be singing my praises as a sleeping companion to the other women on the base any time soon.

Even if my melted ice is 'to die for'.

*