TITLE: Curious Anyway
AUTHOR: SelDear
SUMMARY: Something's changed.
CATEGORY: Episode Epilogue, Vignette, Thoughts
SPOILERS: Grace
NOTES: Another post-Grace one - one from the 'shindig'.

Curious Anyway

I don't know what happened on the Prometheus while the crew were on the alien ship. I don't know what went through Sam's mind for those hours when she was alone.

But I find myself curious about her experience.

Because something's changed.

There are people all over Jack's lawn today. SGC personnel, the crew of the Prometheus, even a couple of friends of hers from DC that Teal'c unearthed. There's even an NID agent floating around somewhere. Not 'floating' floating, of course. But mingling. Practically human, although that might be asking a bit much of the NID.

There's beer in the fridge, and soda for those who don't drink. There's enough meat for everyone to have their own cow, and several salads for those whose tastes don't run to slabs of overcooked bovine. Teal'c filched a mammoth-sized ketchup from the SGC commissary. Jack brought cake. Quite a lot of it.

We organised the party for her return, Teal'c and I. Jack had other things to do. Watch Sam until she woke up for one.

Is that one of the things that's changed? I don't know.

What I do know is that Sam has always kept a barrier around herself. There's been a certain inhibitive distance between her and the rest of the world. She keeps them at arm's length. And, admittedly, Teal'c, Jack, and I are not the most pushy guys when it comes to breaching her emotional walls - partly because if we breached hers, then our own would come down. Definitely a no-no.

The barrier isn't there anymore.

As she talks and laughs with the people in her vicinity, she seems more...open. A different woman.

A desirable woman.

I'm not dead. Never have been. And Sam is quite a woman. That doesn't mean that either I'm attracted to her sexually, or interested in her emotionally. But there's always been a certain distance at which she kept everyone - me, Teal'c, Hammond, her Dad, Jack. Especially Jack.

The barrier is still there for Jack. She becomes more reserved, closed in. But the barrier is gone to other people. Specifically other men.

Something happened while she was alone on the Prometheus. Something. I don't know what, but just...something. She said it was hallucinations about the state of her situation and her life - as brought to her by the guys of SG-1.

Whatever these 'hallucinations' that took on our faces said to her, they've changed her. Of course, such a situation would change you anyway. You don't come out of a situation like that so easily. It changes you. I should know. We should know.

So something's changed. It's hard to describe if you don't know Sam. It's elusive, difficult to explain. But I'm trying anyway.

So Sam is sitting over with the crew of the Prometheus, all of them glad to be home. Colonel Ronson has said that any time she cares to transfer from Stargate Command to the Prometheus Bridge, he'd be more than happy to take her. Of course, it's a known fact that nothing short of death or a presidential edict will get Sam out of the SGC, so we're not worried.

I catch her eye and she waves me over and makes room for me on the bit of wall she's seated on. Her smile is easy, happy, warm. It's a relief to see her so relaxed.

But there's no action with an equal and opposite reaction, as she'd say. And in spite of enjoying the new, relaxed Sam Carter, I can't help wondering what action caused this reaction. Because it is a reaction to something. I just don't know what.

I probably never will.

But I'm curious anyway.

*