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TITLE: Queen of the Amazons Mar, this one's for you! ::winks::
Queen of the Amazons"So, what's showing?" Jack asked as he plonked himself down on one end of the couch. Carter was quite firmly esconced in the middle, long jean-clad legs stretched out on the coffee table. "Apart from the attack of the fluffy bunny slippers?" She glared at him for his comment on her footwear. He grinned and subsided. "I have no idea, sir. TV guide is on the table on Daniel's side of the couch." "Daniel?" "Hang on, Jack." Their descended ex-team-mate waved a hand irritably at Jack from the other side of the couch. Luckily for the three of them, it was a big couch, or Carter would have been sitting in Jack's lap. Okay, let's steer around that thought, shall we now? Jack glared briefly at the insensible Daniel before craning his neck to regard the activity in the kitchen. "Hey guys, is the popcorn burnt yet?" "It will be ready for consumption in a little while, O'Neill." "We just put a new batch in." "Good thing I brought all the extra popcorn," Jack muttered quietly to Carter who just grinned. "It was very foresightful of you, sir." "All part of the job." He winked. "Daniel, have you finished yet?" "Jack, shut up." "You know that whole ascension deal hasn't exactly made you any more polite." "And a year without my exalted presence hasn't made you any more tactful." "Oh, and this coming from the Master of Tact and Diplomacy, himself!" Daniel emerged from behind the magazine, opened his mouth, and found Sam's hand covering his mouth. "Shush, Daniel." She regarded Jack, "You, too, sir." "Bossy," he teased as she gave Daniel a quick warning glance and removed her fingers. "My apartment, my rules." Carter levelled a serenely smug look at him, then turned back to Daniel. "Daniel, please hand over the TV guide. Do it immediately, and nobody will get hurt." While Jack couldn't see the twinkle in her eyes, he could hear the smile in her voice - and he had a good view of Daniel's expression. Daniel handed it over with remarkable obedience - for Daniel. He'd have to get used to the more out-there Sam Carter that had emerged since his ascension. For Jack and Teal'c it had come more gradually - a by-product of their increased closeness and the knowledge that Sam was being groomed for command of SG-1 when Jack packed it in in a year or so. "Okay, I've seen that, not interested, sounds bad...sounds really bad..." Jack peered over her shoulder at the TV guide and a movie description caught his eye. "That one." "No." "Why not?" "Sir, look at the summary!" "I'm looking! What's not to love?" Carter gave him 'the look'. If they'd been married it would have been the kind of look that meant he'd be spending the night on the couch. Daniel took the opportunity to lean over and filch the guide from Carter's hand. "'A pair of astronauts find themselves stranded on a planet where women rule. One of the astronauts is caught up in the politics of good and evil on the planet.' Uh, Jack?" "Yes, Daniel?" "It sounds like crap." "Daniel, when was the last time I watched science fiction of any kind?" "Well, I don't know what you've been doing in the last year, but it would probably have to be the last time Teal'c held you down and forced you to watch 'Return of the Jedi'." "Exactly. So you should welcome this opportunity to see me get in touch with my inner geek." Carter and Daniel exchanged looks. "Has he been like this for the last year?" "Worse, actually." "I'll remember that when I'm doing your next performance review, Carter." She just grinned, safe in the knowledge that he made such good-natured threats every year, and every year her performance reviews came up exemplary. "Okay, we have popcorn!" The 'alien conspiracy' of SG-1 emerged from Sam's kitchen holding two very large, very full, bowls of popcorn. "One butter for the Colonel and Sam, and one honey for Dr. Jackson, Teal'c and myself." Teal'c settled his bowl on Jack and Carter's side of the table and folded himself neatly into the recliner awaiting his presence. Jonas did the same on Daniel's side of the table. "Have we selected a movie?" "Yes." Jack announced at the same time as Sam protested, "No!" "I'm guessing we're having a difference of opinion here," Jonas said as he took a handful of popcorn. "Jack wants to get in touch with his inner geek." Daniel's made it sound more like Jack wanted to get in touch with his inner axe-murderer. "Well, the movie's already started," Sam said, looking back at the guide. "It's probably about a third of the way through. Oh damn. We'll have to watch something else." She sounded about as sorry as she would have been if Kinsey had dropped dead of a heart attack on her doorstep. "You're such a spoilsport, Carter." Jack leaned forward and picked up the remote control. "Okay, let's do some surfing..." He clicked through a half-dozen network channels, then flipped over to the cable channels. In the background, Jonas and Daniel were discussing something - he caught the murmur of conversation from the other side of the couch. "Wait! Stop - go back!" Jonas' cry paused him in the middle of channel-flicking. "What?" They all stared at Jonas. "Go back...the previous channel!" Jack clicked one station back. They gawped. "Uh, Daniel...isn't that you?" "No-o." Daniel was staring at the screen in horrified amazement. "That's not me, because I'm me..." They watched as the man in question - clad in a navy blue singlet - strutted around with a pick in one hand. From the artfully-smeared smudges on his face and hands, Jack guessed the man was supposed to be grubby. "He's podgier than you are, Daniel." "Thank you for that observation, Jack. Dear god...what's he got growing on his face?" "I believe it is known as a beard, Daniel Jackson." "Maybe his chin gets cold," Jonas offered. All thought of changing the channel was lost as SG-1 watched in horrified fascination at the Daniel-lookalike on the screen. "My god this is tacky!" Daniel blurted. "Indeed." However, tacky or not, Jack was enjoying himself. It really did look like Daniel. In a cheesy, B-grade movie, no less. "Y'know, Daniel, he looks a lot like…" "Jack. Shut up." Jack grinned, caught Teal'c's raised eyebrow and subsided. He was going to hunt this movie down and give it to Daniel on his next birthday. Maybe sell copies at the SGC for the amusement and humiliation factor. Sneak a copy in to the 'SGC Movie Night' and exchange the labels on it with the ones for 'Chicago'. So many possibilities. So much fun. "He even moves like you, Dr. Jackson." "He does not! And it's Daniel, okay?" Carter was thumbing through the TV guide. "I told you this movie looked really bad, sir." "Yes, but it's a funny kind of ba... Holy shit!" Jack goggled at the woman who'd just walked on the screen. "Sir!" "Sorry, Carter...but would you take a look at..." "If it's all the same to you, I'd rather not, sir." Okay, so they weren't all that impressive - even done up in black leather - but in the last few years Jack had learned exactly where the lines were drawn regarding his 2IC's endurance of what she called 'typical testosterone-induced behaviour'. And it was fun pushing them every now and then. "They practically have a life all their own!" "See, now that I certainly haven't missed," Daniel muttered on the other side of Carter. "Aw, Daniel, you make me feel all warm and fuzzy inside." "O'Neill, Daniel Jackson, please desist from your comments." "Teal'c, you're not actually watching this are you?" "There is little else to watch, O'Neill." "Oh. My. God." That was Jonas over on the far side as 'Evil Bitch With Leather Bodice' leaned over. Daniel, of course, got distracted - and not by the displayed cleavage. "Do the Kelownans have gods?" Jonas dragged his attention from the vision of bondage before him. "Well, um, there are several different religions, both monotheistic and polytheistic, but..." Uh-oh. Time to head this train off at the pass. "Hey, guys, cut it out! This is not the time for an in-depth discussion on cultural divergence!" "Then when?" "When we're not watching a movie that's all class." "I should say it is more 'ass' than 'class', O'Neill," Teal'c observed. "You're preaching to this choir, Teal'c," Carter said dryly. "Could we please change the channel, sir?" "No." "No?" "I'm enjoying myself too much." And he was. The teasing potential, on a scale of one to ten, was somewhere in the hundreds. The amusement factor was nearly double that. And the opportunities for sly prodding were innumerable. "Carter, don't those go against the laws of physics?" She regarded him coolly, but with amusement. "Quite possibly, sir." "Quite definitely, I'd say," Daniel said, sardonically. "And ye canna change the laws of physics!" Jonas added as he took another handful of popcorn. Carter grinned, Daniel's eyebrows went up, and Teal'c probably just stared at his fellow alien before turning back to regard the show again. Jack narrowed his eyes at his team-mate. "Jonas?" "Yes, Colonel?" Jack still hadn't worked out if the innocence was real or studied at moments like this. He'd prefer to think it was real, but Jonas had shown himself to have a sly sense of humour - even if it was a little odd. "What was that?" "What, Colonel?" It was definitely studied. And the corner of Carter's mouth was definitely up. "Your little…outburst." "Ah... It's a reference to Star Trek, Colonel. It's a television show from the late 1960s…" "I know that," Jack said dryly, "Just...ahhh…forget it." He shook his head. "Ouy. Another geek. Hey!" Carter had grabbed for the remote control and slipped it from his fingers. "Right. Something else." "Carter!" He made a snatch for the remote and missed. She handed it to Daniel, putting it firmly out of his reach, "Change the channel please, Daniel." "With immense pleasure." Daniel shook his head, as he flipped to the next channel. "You know, it's a pity such a good-looking actor was so hard up that all he could land was a movie like this." He grinned to the groans of his companions. Jack rolled his eyes. "Sure, Daniel. Whatever. The ego has landed." "Shut up, Jack." Carter nudged Daniel ungently, smirking. But Jack got the last word. Naturally. "Kamp by name and camp by nature." They groaned. * FIN |
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