Sometimes

Sometimes it hurts.

He keeps her whole for the man in her life.

For the man she hasn't yet met and doesn't yet know, but who will walk into her life and love her.

Many men covet her - she's beautiful and smart, funny and good company. Not the most open of women - she has her secrets, but while your time with her might be short, when you have her attention you feel like the only man who's ever had anything worth saying.

And maybe that's her 'secret'. To make a man feel like a king - like he's the only one who mattered in the course of history.

He's no more immune to her unconscious charm than any other man alive.

And sometimes it hurts.

Some nights he wonders why she's never looked at him like that, why she's always so correct around him, why she keeps rebuffing him.

Some nights, he knows why she always holds him at arm's length. He sees it when he looks in the mirror at the grey of his hair and the fine lines of age around his eyes. He understands it when he scrubs down his body and feels the ache of old bones and the ridges of old scars. He feels it when she receives a commendation or a promotion.

No, he knows why she keeps her distance.

But when they're out in the field together, when he looks at her animation, at the interest in her face or the caution in her expression, he forgets.

It's so easy to forget.

Too easy.

And one day, someone will come along with all the youth and vitality that she deserves. And she'll be drawn to him as he's drawn to her.

Equals. Partners. Hearts.

On that day, Jack will be able to say that he kept her whole for the man she chose. There'll be no consolation prize and no appreciation, but he'll know what he did. He'll have left his mark on her life and been someone important to her.

And that will be enough.

It'll have to be enough.

But sometimes...it hurts.

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