Trying

To be honest, I don't think they even tried to meet us halfway.

The only Tok'ra to pause in his departure is Jacob. While his compatriots do not so much as look back, he turns back to look at the Gateroom.

His eyes go to Hammond, standing down on the floor of the Gateroom, grim and solemn, and they nod once at each other.

Then his eyes lift to us, standing at the window of the briefing room. We are silently charged with the care of his daughter - to be her family, to be her strength. He looks from me, to Teal'c, to Jack, and a faint smile drifts across his face before sadness sets in.

He turns, strides up the ramp, and is gone in an instant.

The Stargate shuts down behind him.

Once again we are alone.

The Jaffa left this morning. Teal'c had private conference with them before they went. It is possible that one of them will carry a message to Bra'tac, and through Bra'tac to Ry'ac. How Teal'c's son will take the news that his father has been cut from the main body of Jaffa is questionable. This is the second time it's happened, and Ry'ac is older now, but emotional paths are hard to change.

We are alone.

In the beginning, it was the Tau'ri against the Goa'uld. And again, it's just us.

There's a certain depression through the base. An acknowledgement that we've failed yet again - and the cost of such failure might be our lives and the freedom of this world. Without the alliance, we are smaller, less co-ordinated, and the potential exists for us to trip over the actions of our former allies without even knowing we're doing so.

But in all things there is a choice. The Tok'ra and the Jaffa made theirs.

We have to make ours.

It's a hard thing to see an alliance end. To lose allies you trusted, people you thought were friends. But paths cross and turn and part from each other - it's life and living. It doesn't make it easier to deal with the break, but you deal and move on because you have to.

Life is full of crossroads. You stand at the crossroads, you choose and you move on. Sometimes you wonder what could have been, but what ifs don't always help in the here-and-now. Sometimes you choose wrong, and you have to go back and take the choice again.

I can't argue with the Jaffa's reasoning - they do need leadership of their own. Even Teal'c follows Jack's lead rather than taking his own, and we don't usually like it when Teal'c takes on his own leadership. The situation with the Goa'uld Imhotep and his army of free Jaffa comes to mind.

Personally, I think the Tok'ra are just too used to working alone. They've always been a dying breed - the emergence of the SGC and 'the Tau'ri' on the scene haven't really changed that. Egeria and her death is a spurious argument - a year ago, they didn't even know she was alive.

Jacob - and Selmak - saw the need for co-ordination. Maybe it's the fact that Jacob came from Earth and understood the concept of working with allies that tipped the balance in his favour. And while that worked in our favour as long as the Tok'ra were our allies, it seems the alliance has become a weakness in the eyes of the Tok'ra High Council.

But I don't think the Tok'ra were trying to be allies - not really. They said they did, but they didn't mean what they said. Or maybe they just didn't expect it to happen the way it did. Maybe they thought it would be an alliance in name but not in truth.

At any rate, whatever they thought, however hard they didn't try, it no longer matters. The alliance is ended.

And, as when all things end, there are losers. Not only each of our races, but individuals too.

Teal'c stands silent at the window, head up, shoulders back, expressionless as usual. While I'm no expert on reading his more inscrutable moods, my guess is that he's probably wondering if he'll ever get to see Ry'ac again.

Sam lies pale and tired in the infirmary, hopefully sleeping. Her ordeal drained her. When they brought her back through the Stargate, she was shocky - and Jacob's departure wouldn't have done her mental state any favours.

I'm worried for both of them. More about Sam than Teal'c. Maybe it's the old patriarchy thing coming into play - which it does, no matter how much we strive for equality of treatment - and maybe there are logical practical reasons for it.

Teal'c is self-contained. He'll seek his support in subtle ways - visiting us in our offices more often, driving himself harder in his physical training. Cracks never show in Teal'c - he never lets things get so far that they crack. Teal'c is a dream case for anyone who finds themselves in the business of repairing people - whether in mind, in body, or in spirit. Teal'c knows his limits and will seek reliable help at the point where he finds himself needing it.

Sam is also self-contained. But at the same time, she's more fragile - certainly more than she'd like to believe or have us believe. She won't seek help as willingly as Teal'c because she fears being seen as weak. And I don't yet know that her new boyfriend can be trusted to give her the emotional support she needs. I don't want to see Sam hurt because she leaned on rotting wood instead of solid oak.

I trust SG-1. We've been there for her before, and we'll be there for her now. Family by choice.

I guess SG-1 has an alliance of our own. Four people of disparate backgrounds and interests, who have formed a partnership against whatever the powers that be might try to overcome us, individually and together. We try to make up the difference, try to fill in the gaps for each other. Sometimes we succeed; sometimes we fail.

But at least we're trying.

*