Two boys are playing football in a Melbourne park, when one is attacked by a Rottweiler. Thinking quickly, the other boy rips off a board of the nearby fence, wedges it down the dog's collar and twists, breaking the dog's neck. A reporter who is strolling by sees the incident, and rushes over to interview the boy.

"Blues fan saves friend from vicious animal", he starts writing in his notebook. "But I'm not a Blues fan," the boy replies. "Tigers fan rescues friend from horrific attack," the reporter starts again. "I'm not a Tigers fan either, " the boy says.

"Then what are you?" the reporter says."I'm a Collingwood fan !!!" The reporter starts a new sheet in his notebook and writes, "Low life bastard kills family pet".

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The seven dwarfs are down in the mines when there is a cave-in. Snow White runs to the entrance and yells down to them.

In this distance a voice shouts out "Collingwood are good enough to win the Premiership."

Snow White says "Well at least Dopey's alive!"

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A little boy from Melbourne had gone to Rome on holiday with his family hoping to see the Pope. Anyway, a couple of days after they'd arrived, the Pope was doing a tour of the city in his Popemobile. The little lad was a bit worried that the Pope wouldn't be able to pick him out in the crowd, so his Mum said "Don't worry, the Pope is a footy dan, so wear your Carlton jumper and he's bound to pick you out and talk to you."

So, they're in the crowd, but the Popemobile drives past them, and stops a bit further down the street where John Paul gets out and speaks to a little boy in a Collingwood jumper. The lad is distraught and starts crying. His Mum says "Don't worry, the Pope's driving around tomorrow as well, so we'll get you a Collingwood jumper and then he's bound to see you."

The next day arrives, and the boy's got on his new Collingwood jumper. The Popemobile stops right by him, John Paul gets out, bends down and says to the lad "I thought I told you to f..k off yesterday!"