A Good Collingwood family (is there such a thing?)

A Family of Collingwood supporters head out one Saturday morning to do their Christmas shoplifting . While in Rebel Sports the son picks up a Richmond footy jumper and says to his 10 year old sister, "I've decided to become a Tiger supporter and I would like this for Christmas". His sister, outraged by this, promptly whacks him round the head with her carton of Winfields and says, "Go talk to Mum.

Off goes the little lad with the Richmond footy jumper in hand and finds his mother. "Mum?" "Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be a Tiger supporter and I would like this jumper for Christmas". The mother is outraged at this and throws her moccasins and a full stubbie of VB at him, promptly whacks him around the head and says, "lets go talk to your father".

Off they go to Pentridge during visiting hours with footy jumper in hand and find bubba, his father. "Dad?" "Yes son?" "I've decided I'm going to be a Richmond supporter and I would like this jumper for Christmas". The father is outraged and promptly whacks his son around the head with his fists and says, "No son of mine is ever going to be seen in THAT", and then kicks him from one end of the rec. room to the other for further good measure.

About half an hour later they're all back in the car and heading towards home (Reservoir). The mother turns to her son and says "Son, I hope you've learned something today?" The son says, "Yes knackers I have." "Good son, what is it?"

The son replies, "I've only been a Richmond supporter for an hour and already I hate you Collingwood bastards."

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A recently arrived immigrant was sitting at his home - terrified after watching last Saturday's Grand Final live at the "G".

His mate came in and saw how scared he was and asked what was wrong.

"I am not ever going back to the Melbourne Cricket Ground again!" the new arrival said. - "I saw thousands of people wearing black and white running around the carpark yelling "We waz robbed! We was robbed!!!"

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A mortician had a new apprentice who was learning the embalming ropes. He walked into the embalming room where a body was lying on the table. Thinking he knew enough now to begin the procedure without his boss, he began examining the body. He rolled it over and to his amazement there was a cork in its ass.

Mystified, he pulled it out, and immediately heard; "Good old Collingwood forever" come out the guys arse. Startled by what had happened, he shoved the cork back into the body and ran up the stairs to find his mentor; "Sir, you've got to come down and me, I've just seen something I can't believe." Annoyed by the naivety of his assistant, he said OK and followed him downstairs;

"There, look at the cork in the ass of that body, I couldn't imagine what it was doing there so I pulled it out. Please you do it."

The mortician was a bit surprised to see the cork, too, so he walked to the table and removed the cork, and sure enough:- "Good old Collingwood forever" began to play.

Exasperated, he replaced the cork in its appointed position, turned to his assistant and said: "What's so surprising about that? I've heard thousands of arseholes sing that song!