Its gonna take poor Collingwood forever
To win their next premiership flag.
Cause when it comes to playing in Grand Finals
The oppositions got it in the bag!
Joffa's put away his gold coat
As he bloody well should!
Another bad case of the Colliwobbles
For poor old Collingwood!

---

A Collingwood fan dies on match day and goes to heaven in his Collingwood jumper. He knocks on the old pearly gates and out walks St Peter in a St.Kilda scarf.

"Hello, mate," says St Peter, "I'm sorry, no Collingwood fans in heaven."

"What?" exclaims the man, astonished.

"You heard. No Collingwood fans."

"But, but, but, I've been a good man," replies the Collingwood supporter.

"Oh, really?" says St Peter. "What have you done then?"

"Well," says the guy, "three weeks before I died, I gave 20 bucks to the starving children in Africa."

"Oh," says St Peter. "Anything else?"

"Well, two weeks before I died, I also gave 20 bucks to the homeless.

"Hmmm. Anything else?"

"Yeah. A week before I died, I gave 20 bucks to the Albanian orphans. "Okay," says St Peter, "you wait here a minute while I have a word with the governor."

Ten minutes pass before St Peter returns. He looks the bloke in the eye and says, "I've had a word with God and he agrees with me.

Here's your sixty bucks back, now rack off."