Well, you can tell by the way I whine and sulk
I'm a Bombers man, and not a Hawk
Up the ground Hird kicks the ball
I can't mark so I take a fall

And now it's all right, it's OK
The ump can't look the other way
The dumb full back don't understand
But it's my free, holding the man

When the full back's spoiling that's when I start a-falling
I'm takin' a dive, takin' a dive
Be it Gaspar, Hay or Wakelin, there's just no mistakin'
That I'm taking a dive, taking a dive
Ah, ha, ha, ha, takin' a dive, takin' a dive
Ah, ha, ha, ha, takin' a dive

Well I get tripped or taken high
I get the frees, don't even try
All around I hear the boos
But the whistle's gone and I can't lose.

But it's all right, and it's OK
I felt a brush, I'm on my way
The whistle's gone, just like I planned
Darren Goldspink's my biggest fan

Even though the roof's closed, I still check how the wind blows
And I'm takin' a dive, takin' a dive
Feel the slightest contact and suddenly I'm on my back
Cos I'm taking a dive, taking a dive
Ah, ha, ha, ha, takin' a dive, takin' a dive
Ah, ha, ha, ha, takin' a dive